Khalil Gibran's Children: What Every Parent Gets Wrong | The Prophet Explained

Essentially, it's a philosophy book.

Kahlil Gibran, he is calling himself in

this like or or he has a character in

there. It's like you know, he's calling

the prophet. One day he had to leave the

city and go

to the city and look at the philosophy

on various topics. Your children are not

your children. They are the sons and

daughters of life's longing for itself.

They come through you but not from you.

Throughout this book, I think he has

never called upon something a God or

anything like that because I think he

wanted to be more inclusive of everyone.

But you can see the usage of the like

you know, the he and the his like you

know, it's it's capital H capital H for

his capital H for he. It's presenting

like you know, that godly figure or the

divine figure or or or he's calling just

life.

No, it's it's a it's a it's an idea.

It's it's more of a what you want it to

be. In real life, does it does it

translate into a real life situations?

Like I don't know because think about

this. He says, you may give them your

love but not your thoughts. What else do

you pass out pass to your children?

Don't you pass your values? Don't you

pass your like certain infrastructure

like you know, structure to their life

that hey, this is a good thing. This is

a bad thing. For even as he loves the

arrow that flies, so he loves also the

bow that is stable.

But

actually classy value a good thing to

say

Yes.

Ooh, who's that?

That's me.

I got a

I got a nose job.

You got a mustache, too.

>> [laughter]

>> The prophet Kahlil Gibran, yes.

I

work discuss

from this very famous book that I know

you have also read and you brought this

you brought this up.

Kahlil Gibran because this is one of my

favorite books.

>> [laughter]

>> Well, they actually then your book is

even bigger

as compared to mine. Look at this. I got

a pocket size version of You got a

pocket size cuz I mean you you might

need a pocket size version

of this book

and you can like open it up for any

topic, any situation that you're in.

And it could be like a guide book. I

mean, I think that's that's the idea.

Like do you want to explain what the

premise of this book is a little bit? I

mean, yeah. It's it's a

Essentially, it's a philosophy book like

you know,

this Kahlil Gibran, he is calling

himself in this like or or he has a

character in there. It's like you know,

he's calling the prophet essentially and

the

So the city

actually

look at the philosophy

on various topics. So this book is is a

collection of 26 poems

that are

essentially on different topics of what

he thinks about those topics, right?

Right? I mean,

passion or

reason reason

philosophy. We should

cover that one as well at some point.

that we going to cover today.

to deliver his own philosophy but

through a character named I think Al

Mustafa

who is

who is

you know,

portrayed as the prophet in this

fictional in this fictional story.

It's

a company by

illustrations that the author did that

Kahlil Gibran did. I think he did about

12 illustrations and one of them

actually the one that we want to cover.

I think we'll end up covering a couple

of them. But you on children

Okay,

I think we should show it first and then

we should read it so it will make sense.

Like it it essentially opens up to the

audience, right?

I think so. Or should we should do

should we do it at the end?

I think we should do it at the end

because it's

it ends on that note. Okay. And I mean,

you know, it ends on that note and then

it makes sense. So I mean, sure. But

that's the thing, right? Like

picture the then

the master should

go.

I'm not going to explain anything there,

right? You know, just look at it.

Someone's holding a bow like you know,

to shoot an arrow. That's all I see

right now. Yeah, it's it's not like a

conventional type bow, though. Yes.

Yeah, so that's what we going to find

out in the poem itself. So let me read

that. It's it's a whimsical drawing of a

man holding a bow.

I'll just leave it at that.

All right.

So the way

the way the poem goes is essentially a

woman who is holding her

baby and she asking the prophet Al

Mustafa, speak to us of children. Yeah,

I imagined her yelling.

Yes, speak to her. Cuz cuz the prophet

is standing up there like that on the

ship and she she's she's clutching a

baby and she's like

how? Speak to us Speak to us of

children. What about the children?

I don't know. For some reason I always

imagine this Italian like I always go

like this.

>> [laughter]

>> Speak to us of children.

in my head. All right. So it says

Okay, hold on. Let me look at the camera

while I say this one.

And he said

Your children are not your children.

They are the sons and daughters of

life's long for its longing for itself.

They come through you but not from you.

And though they are with you, yet they

belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your

thoughts. For they have their own

thoughts.

You may house their bodies but not their

souls.

For their souls dwell in the house of

tomorrow.

Which you cannot visit not even in your

dreams.

You may strive to be like them

but seek not to make them like you.

For life goes not backwards not tarries

with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your

children as living arrows are sent

forth.

The archer sees the mark upon the path

of the infinite.

And he bends you with his might and his

arrows may go swift and far.

Let your bending in the archer's hand be

for gladness.

For even as he loves the arrow that

flies

so he loves also the bow that is stable.

Wow.

For even as he loves the arrow that

flies, so he loves also the bow that is

stable.

Yeah, but that is stable.

Yes.

And and and now please bring back the

illustration that you were showing

because I feel like now it will make

more sense and and now we can even see

the bow that it actually makes made out

of like two people.

Not very clear but I think yeah, I think

it's blurry but it's essentially made

out of two people which I'm assuming men

and women at that time

when it's written. But the stability, it

comes from both joining their hands

essentially coming together

in the hands of this mighty being which

he is calling

like Al Mustafa is calling life. But if

you see life

like in the poem itself, it's capital L.

Life's longing for itself. So when when

you use capital L like that within the

middle of the sentence and like you

know, so so it throughout this book, I

think he has never called upon

something a God or anything like that

because I think he wanted to be more

inclusive of everyone. But but you can

see the the um

the the usage of the like you know the

he and the his like you know it's it's

capital H capital H for his capital H

for he it it's it's presenting like you

know that that godly figure or the

divine figure or or or he's calling just

life. Like you know like he's just

calling that life or

so I [clears throat] I think I think

this book is without

without using religion

he's communicating what mostly all

religions communicate and and and point

towards.

I don't want to give religion that much

credit.

I think

religion like you know it's it's still

vague enough.

Religion has too many

I would say this I would say this when

the religion started they were not going

to be like you know they were not trying

to be a religion they were just trying

to put out the philosophies and exactly

what he's doing right now. Like you know

they they believed in certain things and

they like you know went for those right

like you know they wrote those down and

everything. What I don't like about

religion and everything in that context

is it's too like you know becomes

regimentation over time. I mean that's

how that's how people interpret it as

like but what I'm saying is at the core

Yeah. the religions of the world the

major religions of the world

are communicating these type of values

and I'm not going into the religion

piece of it what I'm saying is the

beauty of this is

and this book

is without bringing religion into it.

But he did bring religion into it in one

sense because he's calling him the

prophet so he's not going into the

rituals of it. I mean is it religion

though like you know I mean it's it's

like the god and the prophet can very

well exist outside of any religion as

well.

Right so so because you're looking from

the religious lens what if like just say

it was written even any if any religion

like before any religion that existed on

earth or like any ideas that were talked

about in that sense right calling

himself the prophet or anything that

does not mean it's a religion he can

just talk about god or

>> I correlate prophet with the religion

and most people do.

>> There you go that's what I'm saying

because the bias is there right that's

why.

>> people do most people do. Sure sure but

but that's the thing you I I think it's

just a like you know I'll take him as a

philosopher

and understand it as such because to be

honest like But but the book is not

called the philosopher it's called the

prophet. So it is a

undeniably there is a religious not

religious angle to it but he's

communicating basically what he's

communicating in this book is that

religion teaches you all this without

without going into a particular type of

religion or staying away from the

politics of religions.

I mean

personally I fail to see it still but

because also I'm going to say that

I'm not sure if I agree with this I'm

not sure if I agree with this poem like

because I think about it a lot. And

like sometimes it feels like you know

there's there's a concept called first

of all I don't think he had children or

he ever took care of his children or if

he had any. Why why do you say that?

Because I think I read up somewhere that

he didn't

and we can check that. Kahlil Gibran had

children

>> saying this whole poem is false like No

it's it's a it's a it's an idea it's

it's more of a what you want it to be.

In real life does it does it translate

into a real life situations like I don't

know because because think about this

think about this right? He says

you may give them your love but not your

thoughts. Okay I also have a problem

with that piece like thoughts I also

have a problem with that piece like

thoughts

I mean what what else are you going to

do not exist like because if they are

around you they going to get your

thoughts and what else do you pass out

pass to your children don't you pass

your values don't you pass your like

certain infrastructure like you know

structure to their life that hey this is

a good thing this is a bad thing like

you know you give them some idea but

according to this one it just feels like

there's no structure whatsoever you just

like let them be.

Right so so it's the autonomy of the

kids while they're not even aware what

life actually means we don't know either

but we at least more would know more

than them in that sense right?

So so what

to what extent like there's there's no

there is no

it's it's too vague it's too vague.

But but I I still don't think like you

know I don't agree with it in that sense

because

>> I I I agree with that part in the sense

that I disagree with you may give them

your love but not your thoughts. I know

what they're going for but yeah there's

there's there needs to be a little bit

more clarity but do you agree with

you may house their bodies but not their

souls?

Yeah

so so let me let me give you an example

like what I thought of was first time I

read it right?

While I was reading it I was like you

know

Like during the same time or something I

was

I think I recently found out about

something called as lighthouse

parenting.

Lighthouse parenting essentially means

that

like you know what it sounds like you

know and it it actually comes close to

what what he's saying is you are

essentially a lighthouse in the middle

of the ocean like you know on island or

something and your kids are essentially

a ship out in the ocean right? They can

always look back to you for direction of

where they are in the ocean if they are

lost.

Right? But you don't have any control

over how they are

managing themselves in the ocean. Yeah.

Right?

That just means that that's just from

the name right? But the the the whole

the whole concept of lighthouse

parenting came from a pediatrician

actually and she actually had kids and

she managed her own like you know took

care of her kids and everything so

um

reading more into it

like on the surface it looks like he's

saying the same thing

but when you go into depth into

lighthouse parenting you understand that

no there's still a structure there is a

still like you know certain kind of like

you know the the principle or the values

that you create around them. So for

example for example right? And I think

it will come back to this again

when I give that example right?

In lighthouse parenting I think there

was a example of um

um like let just say your kid tomorrow

like you know they get their heart

broken or they like you know lose a race

or something and they're like feel

defeated and like you know they're not

feeling

up to like you know like

essentially they're not feeling well um

they're

sitting in a dark room like you know

thinking it over and everything. Now

is your job and metaphorically and

literally is your job to go turn on that

light

or your job is to go sit with them in

the dark while they figure out what's

happening.

Right? And think about this while he

says

you may give them your love but not your

thoughts. So while you are sitting with

them in that dark room you're giving

them your love your support but you're

not giving them your thoughts.

You're not giving them how to deal with

it you're letting them deal with it but

you are in that like you're just

providing support with you're not fixing

the problem for them you're being with

them in the problem. Yeah. And there's a

difference there right? So so I think

like when I first read it I didn't agree

with it but then I read the lighthouse

parenting and then I came back to it and

I was just like oh that makes sense if

we go in certain details and try to

understand it a little bit.

>> certain scenarios this makes sense. Yes

yeah yeah yeah yeah like certain things

like you know yeah if you just like

don't give them your thoughts whatsoever

like you know like your kid is like you

know

beating someone up in the street and you

can't even tell them that hey dude don't

do that like that's that's bully

behavior and that's not okay right?

Then that's not okay like you have to

give them your thoughts of like how you

feel about it and they shouldn't be

doing that to other kids you know. So so

yes in certain scenarios it it makes

sense. Yeah but I think that's a given

I think that's a given.

What is a given? Like that type of like

this

this is not telling you like what what

the baseline of parenting is. This is

like going into

No but I think the biggest problem is

that like is is parents trying to fix

the problem of the kids for the kids you

know and and because

somehow they have taken the

role of an entertainer in their life

where it's their job that when they're

sad it's somehow parents is job to cheer

them up. Like

instead of teaching the kid how to cheer

themselves up because it's going to take

time what it's going to take time like

you know the the the process. Right?

And you can like you know make an effort

or something but

You know like you have to go sit with

them support them listen to and and I'm

not talking out of like you know just

thin air like I've spoken to parents

about it and

try to understand different parenting

styles to to see how do they manage it

like you know how do they manage the

first heartbreak or or or like you know

failing an exam or like something they

They worked hard for and didn't make it,

you know. Um how? And also

again, how you manage it. Like, you

know, because they're going to learn

from you as well. Like, you know, you're

going to have a bad day. Uh when do you

when you come home after a bad day, how

do you

manage it?

Right?

Uh that's going to give them some

guidance. So, um even without you saying

anything, even without you telling them

they

either I would have thought of my case

say I'm dealing with it, right? Like,

it's not that. It's just observing you.

Yeah. In your day-to-day life, right?

So,

um

Yeah.

>> [laughter]

>> But, uh but that stability part though,

I I actually this that's like you said

that key well, a client only

well, heavy well, yeah. Uh like I think

the the whole parenting is in that one

line. Yeah. Is that that you have to be

that stable bow. You have to be that

stable bow for them to go far.

Yeah. It It wouldn't have to be that

hard like

you have to have a good interview

and say you can say I think about taking

a new one or not but

essentially conservative values and the

rebel that you get rebellion that you

get against them. Like, you know, how

does it work? Like, you know, that why

is it necessary? So, so he said that

they're both necessary in the society in

the in the context of key

Mhm. Uh

yeah, like you know,

whatever. Yeah, exactly. Cowboy style,

right?

Who's that guy go? Who's that guy go

somewhere to go conservative values of

society or would you put that rebellion?

Mhm. Right?

You need both of them.

Who's that guy

to rather to rather have you have to

have to have to have to have to have to

have to have to have to have to have to

have to have to have to have to have to

have to have to have to have to have to

have to

You need both of them. Been a rebellion

been a good guy

with that guy with that guy with that

guy with that guy with that guy with

that guy with that guy with that guy

with that guy with that guy with that

guy with that guy with that guy with

that guy with that guy with that guy

with that guy with that guy

And at the same time, without that

thread

that but that that rock is going to fly

away Yeah. without any control. Yeah.

Right? It's a push and pull.

The way it works is like, you know, you

have the rotation and you let loose

every single rotation. You let loose a

little bit. You lose it. It goes further

and further and further, Yeah. You trust

the thread to bring it back. Exactly.

Right?

Yeah.

Yep. And and and that's what we

understand the society overall, right?

Like, you know, I'm getting to think

that you look at the society

conservative values or rebellion or

up left is right is you be a but but

they're both important to the um

you know,

to to make the society and balance it

out.

Um right now, we're living in extremes.

So, I don't know how the

how the society is going to balance

itself out but at some point it will, I

think.

Yeah. Yeah. That's what they keep saying

and that's what I'm holding on to but

let's hope

uh

yeah, we we come back to some saner or

sanity.

Yeah.

Yeah.

We're going to let you guys guess in the

we're not going to explicitly say it.

But when we we're calling out for

sanity, it means we are on the other

side right now, right? So, obviously.

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. But um but yeah, that was actually

I think a wonderful poem to cover. Yeah,

and a great book to read. There's other

topics in here. I would

you know, recommend our listeners and

our

viewers to go check it out. It's a very

small book. It's probably the easiest

book to read cuz you can pick up a

chapter

I I sit with it. Like, easier in the

sense that to read, yes, but you have to

sit with that chapter. Like, I I have I

still haven't finished it. Uh

because I want to sit with that poem and

I want to like let it settle in. Yeah.

Then it's kind of it's my just say

second Joe favorite hair.

I think it that's became the first

favorite. I think it's it's called

reason and passion. I'm trying to find

it. But but check that one out as well

and I think we should cover it.

How

he connected um

you know, like this whole divinity to

how your reasons and your passions are

like your logic and your your you know,

passion and how you can say

balance out that the circle of how you

can use use that to you.

Do you want to read it or do we do it in

another episode? No, another episode.

Like, that one needs yeah, reason and

passion. Yeah, that one needs its own

episode.

Yeah,

that's very good. I'm excited. We should

do more. I think there's 26 of them in

here and we can even find more

>> [music]

>> interesting ones

and bring some more.

All right.

Well, thank you, everyone. Thank you.