COLÔNIA DE SACRAMENTO - EDUARDO BUENO

"Buemba! Buemba! Tatu Lueco! Everybody's gonna drink Cueca Cuella!" Yes, yes, yes, Argentina just invaded Brazil! Argentina just invaded Brazil! And I'm not kidding. And then it'll be clear what? That Maradona is better than Pelé! That Jorge Luis Borges is much better than Machado de Assis! That Spanish is not a language of the old!

Yeah, that's it, man, finally everyone will say "Portanhol, Argentina is the owner of the piece". Yeah, all Canasvieiras is already from the Argentines, the whole island of Floripa is already from the Argentines, they wouldn't even call Floripa, nor Florianópolis, right? In the hands of the Argentines. Rio Grande is also from the Argentines. That's it, man, it's all theirs.

"You think I'm crazy? You think I'm crazy? I'm not crazy, it's you who don't know anything. Argentina, in fact, invaded Brazil. No, it's okay, it wasn't Argentina, it was Spain, but it was from Argentina. And who is to blame? Who is to blame? The blame is the colony of the sacrament, exactly. So come, come and know this story.

What a torment! What a torment! It's the story of Colônia do Sacramento! You only need to know who it's a torment for. Who it is, it's a torment, but probably for me, because I'll have to tell a story that's full of backstabbing. You saw, right? I did that episode "The Origin of the Gaucho".

some people here in the studio, saying "you're not going to get any views!" There are 400 thousand views, man, because the only thing that matters in the world is the history of the gaucho. It's not the history of the gaucho, but the history of the gaucho is very cool and it has to do with the history of the sacrament of the colonists. The history of the sacrament of the colonists is amazing. And when does it start?

It starts in 1494, with the signing of the Treaty of Tordesillas. I've said this a lot of times, but I have to repeat it. The Treaty of Tordesillas, Zia, see if you can learn it, it's the last time I'm going to say it. From the Maracanã Bay, not the Maracanã Stadium, from the Maracanã Bay, in Pará, to Cananeia, in the south of São Paulo. You already know, the Bacharel de Cananeia, etc.

Then the Portuguese pushed with their bellies to Laguna, in Santa Catarina, which, from Laguna, east of Uruguay, extended to the largest coastline in the world. There was no way to get there by boat, by sea, there was no natural port, no bay, no entrance.

And then the Portuguese... There's a controversy, but I guarantee you, the Portuguese discovered the Foss of the Rio da Prata in 1514. If you say that in Buenos Aires, you're gonna get a beating, because they're sure that the one who discovered the Rio da Prata was Juan Díaz de Solís in 1516.

But to start with, Juan Dias de Solis was actually João Dias de Solis, a Portuguese who had fled Portugal after killing his own wife and becoming a Castilian

in Spain, and left there, like it should have come, in 1516, and in fact arrived at the mouth of the Rio da Prata. Only the Portuguese had arrived before, two years before, in 1514, and it was the Portuguese who in 1514 collected, on the edge of this river, a machado de

a silver ax, which was from the Incas, from Peru, and that had arrived at the hands of the charruas there. And then, because of that, it became the Rio da Prata. But the importance of the Rio da Prata

It's going to be even bigger geopolitically, because in the court's records in Portugal, because, man, the Portuguese were much more connected, much more in the cartography, in the mapping of the New World, than the Spaniards. And then they had already discovered, seen, although the first to arrive in the Amazon River up there, they had been

the Spaniards, right, Vicente and Anés Pinzón. But then, after they arrived at the Rio da Prata, they concluded that these two rivers should be born in a great lagoon, Alhures, in the mysterious interior of Brazil, and that from there a arm would come out down, which was the Rio da Prata, and an arm up, which was the Amazon River. And they were, in a way, correct, because this great lagoon, in fact, is the Pantanal.

where rivers that run to the south form the Paraguay, the Uruguay, the rivers, right? And then the Rio da Prata and other rivers that give rise to an Amazonian branch. So they said that Brazil is actually a kind of island. Up there was the Amazon, down here was the Prata,

And in the middle there was this lake. And all this territory would naturally be of the Portuguese. It was the theory of the "Island of Brazil". Good, right? They may have known that it was not quite like that, but they used it as an argument to occupy these two rivers. And in 1680, in the biggest face of the

But the biggest dickhead, they left Rio de Janeiro, a guy called Manuel Lobo, I kind of mentioned this in the Gaúcho episode, right? Manuel Lobo. Man, Manuel Lobo had been a hero of the so-called Restoration War. The Restoration War is when the Portuguese finally managed to get rid of Spain. I've said it 300 times here, but I have to keep repeating it, that from 1580 to 1640

there was this euphemism called "Iberian Union", when Spain actually absorbed Portugal, right? The two crowns were together, so it made no sense to discuss what the limits were. It was all the same thing. And who took advantage of this story were the Portuguese. Manuel Lobo participated in this restoration war, which actually started in 1640, but will only end in 1666. And Manuel Lobo really had

bravura em combate, virou general e como general foi agraciado com o cargo de governador do Rio de Janeiro. Que roubada, né? Não, mas ele foi um bom governador e não foi preso. Ele é um governador do Rio de Janeiro que não foi preso.

Maybe because he didn't stay long here, because he arrives here in 1679 and sets up an expedition, a tremendous expedition, with five ships, 400 men, 30 cannons, leaves Rio de Janeiro, stops in São Vicente, gathers more people, some paulistas, and goes, enters Rio da Prata, and in front of the island of São Gabriel,

the Sacrament Colony on January 25th, 1680.

And it's something that worked out very well, because in August 1680, the Spaniards leaving Buenos Aires, a Spanish army helped by many Guaranis, occupied, attacked and destroyed the colony of Sacramento. They ended the colony of Sacramento in the so-called Noche Triste. Triste for whom, Carapalho? It was on August 7, 1680.

When they took everything, they arrested Manuel Lobo, they took him to Buenos Aires and he died in a dripping dungeon, without ever being rescued. And it seemed like the end of the sacrament colony.

And it was just the beginning! It was just the beginning! And it's just the beginning of the episode too! Now the episode is going to start! Because simply after the destruction of Colonia, which really was a face of a stick, because she was like this, she could go swimming, giving a spit in Colonia do Sagaamento, she caught Buenos Aires, you know? She could go swimming like this, it's something like that, of ferri-bolt, you can

in 20 minutes! It was a total mess! The Portuguese had pushed the line of Tordesillas to the last possible limit, creating a fortress, establishing a fortress in front of Buenos Aires! It was a scandal! It was a scandal! Seriously, the Portuguese had no reason at all! And yet they brought the issue to international courts and won the right to establish themselves again in Colônia do Sacramento!

on May 7th, 1681. Not even a year later, because it was in August, right, of 1680, they got the right to establish themselves again. And then on January 23rd, 1682, they return there with a new expedition and create the so-called New Colony of the Sacrament, over the former fumigating ruins. They create a fortress, establish themselves,

and they started to sell it, because the thing is, during this period of the Iberian Union, there had been a lot of connection between São Vicente, especially São Vicente, right, and places there in São Paulo, with the so-called "peruleiros", the guys who came from Peru, by land, through the Pé-Abiru, right, or who came from down there, even through Rio da Prata, and then there was a huge silver smuggling,

And the Portuguese provided slaves, the Portuguese always liked to have slaves, right? So who really enslaved Africans in the African coasts were the Portuguese, not the Spaniards. So the, the, the Vicentinos took their slaves to sell in Cologne and they crossed the river to Buenos Aires, right?

It was very cool, but Portuguese and Brazilians always liked the illegality. In exchange they got silver, which came from Peru, from up there. So it was like a "franc zone", you know? It was that "free shop", it was a free shop of slaves and silver.

So much so that we can say that Colônia do Sacramento is in the origin of Mercosul. If there is a historical capital of Mercosul, it is Colônia do Sacramento, because it is the place that unites Brazil, Uruguay, which didn't even exist, right? That was, will be created as a capitol to make Spain

Spain and Brazil don't fight anymore in that area, and then Argentina and Brazil, right, poor Uruguay, is created as a buffer state, because I want to tell you more, man, in no place in the world did the Portuguese empires, the Portuguese empire and the Spanish empire fight so much!

as well as in the sacrament colony. Because after the new sacrament colony had been established there in 1682, in 1705 it was taken again by the Spaniards and remained in the hands of the Spaniards until 1715. But then in 1715, actually on the 6th of February of 1715, the Treaty of Utrecht was signed there in the Netherlands, which

returned the colony to Portugal. But then the following was decided: the so-called "treatment of the cannon shot". The Portuguese could only occupy the region of Colônia do Sacramento up to the range of a cannon shot. They fired a cannon shot, circularly, that perimeter they could occupy.

All the rest, which would be today Uruguay, the Rio de Prata itself, everything was from Spain. So it was a enclave, in fact it was like a spine, like that, on the face of Spain. And the Spaniards did not conform to that. And it's a very crazy story because in the battlefield it was always the Spaniards who won, and the Portuguese managed, through their ardent diplomacy, to regain control of something that in fact they had no right to have.

When they established Colônia for the first time in 1680, they couldn't supply the city, so they created Laguna City in Santa Catarina, which was the last place they could sail, and they made a trail on foot from Colônia to Laguna, you know? A march of almost a thousand kilometers!

In function of this, Rio Grande do Sul was born, in function of this, Viamão was born, which gave birth to Porto Alegre, and in function of this, the fortress of Jesus Maria José was founded in 1737, in the so-called Diabolical Bar, the place where the Lagoa dos Patos is flooded in the ocean, a

a terrible place, a very difficult place to navigate, and there was created the city of Rio Grande, the origin of Rio Grande do Sul. Rio Grande do Sul was born in 1637 with the creation of the city of Rio Grande. But then, man, now it's going to be good, because in 1735 there is a new Spanish invasion and they take

They take the sacrament column again, for the third time, they expel the Portuguese from there, and then in 1750,

The Madrid Treaty was signed on January 13th, 1750, which is a very important treaty, man, which you, in your ignorance, know nothing about. Maybe one day they already asked me to make an episode about the Madrid Treaty, maybe it's the one I really have to do, because the Madrid Treaty is like this, man, it would be more or less like this: "look, pay attention there so you know how it is, it's like this: this laptop is yours, I got this laptop, then you can't stand it anymore that I stole your laptop,

And then you say "for God's sake, give me back my laptop" and I say "I'll give it back if you give me this camera here" And then the Spaniards are like "ok, I can't take it anymore" and give this camera to the Portuguese. And you know what the exchange was? The Spaniards said to the Portuguese "we can't take this bagging anymore in the sacrament column, what do you want to return to the sacrament column?"

"We want the seven peoples of the missions!" "We want the seven peoples!"

of the missions. There were 30 Guaranis, you know, you've seen the history of the missions here. 7 of these peoples were on the eastern border, on the left bank of the Uruguayan river, in the territory that today is Rio Grande do Sul. Then the Portuguese said: "Okay, we'll return the column, we'll return the laptop, which was always from the Spaniards, to you in exchange for this camera here, in exchange for the 7 missions peoples".

They just forgot to combine with the Guaraní Indians. Then the Guaraní said "no, no, no, we've been here forever, this land has a owner, this land is Guarani, this land belongs to Sepete Araju", right? And then the Guaranítica land explodes. The Guaranis, united with the Jesuits, face the two allied armies of Spain and Portugal, who wanted to take this land, and ended up taking it, right?

So, there's still a confusion, as Portugal can't occupy the missions because of the war, they don't return the sacrament column, and the story is not over yet, but the story will now take a sensational course, because in 1763, as governor of Buenos Aires, Pedro Cevajas takes over.

Pedro Sebares, the true Maradona, the true Maradona, who became, in 1766, with the creation of Vice-Reignado do Prata, the first Vice-King of Prata. And what did he do in early 1777? He invades! He destroys the Colônia do Segamento, he takes Montevidéu, which was also linked to the Portuguese, he takes the city of Rio Grande and he invades the island of Santa Catarina! And where?

to the vineyards! That's why when the tourists nowadays from Buenos Aires, from Argentina, take care of Punta de las Canas, they are only taking back what was actually theirs, man. It was theirs. If you take into account the Treaty of Tordesillas,

That was really theirs, and they almost occupied it. You've also seen here the episode of Hans Staden. In 1556, Hans Staden, the German mercenary, came to Brazil on the expedition of Juan de Sanabria, who might come to found the cities.

Paranaguá, in the Bahia de Paranaguá, on the island of São Francisco do Sul, in Santa Catarina, and on the island of Santa Catarina, where Florianópolis is located. And then there was a series of tragedies and they couldn't found this, and 200 years have already passed, more than 200 years, because we are in 1777, when the great Pedro de Sebastos invades and occupies all this territory, from Santa Catarina down.

And here's the thing, those fucking Catarina ran away! They ran away, they could only be bolsonarists. And those more fucking gauchos also ran away!

They even ran away from Rio Grande. No, seriously, I'm going to record an episode just about this invasion. But then, in 1777, Pedro Sebajos is forced to return all this territory, he gets hit, but there, in the diplomatic deals, Portugal wins again on the carpet. So the story is this: Portugal lost in the field, within the four lines, and in the STJD they won the game!

And then they return this territory and in 1777, finally, the Treaty of Santo and Defonso is signed. And this is the treaty that finally establishes the limits very close to the current ones. They are not the current ones, but very close, because this story will only end in 1801, when finally

Portugal occupies the seven peoples of the Missions, destroyed, devastated, with the Indians being expelled in the most vilest and most spurious way, and finally opens the hands of the Sacrament colony.

So they lost the sacrament, but they won the missions. I preferred the sacrament. You preferred the sacrament or the missions? The sacrament or the missions? I preferred the sacrament. But, okay, the missions stayed. And this is a story that we should all know, right? Of course it is much more directly linked to the formation of the south of Brazil, but the south of Brazil is also Brazil. Or is it Argentina?

Argentina! Argentina! And of course, we have to end with the most absolute truth that exists: Maradona was much better than Pelé.