Pésimas conversaciones, pésimas relaciones.

If people knew the weight of words, I think they would give more value to silence. Has it happened to you that you say something, a comment, and then you say to the other or you tell yourself, "Why did I say that?" Or you do a responsible feedback and you say, "I hurt someone, I talked more about the account, I should have stayed in silence."

Or you tell something and then you remember that it was confidential. Has it happened to you? That you speak, you want to say something and they interpret you in another way and you say: "That's not what I meant to say." Or have they told you that? Has it happened to you that someone makes you a comment and you feel bad or you tell yourself: "I'm not asking for your opinion, because this person thinks what I'm not asking for has happened." Or you say:

What a gossipy person. Or it happens to you that you issue judgments, statements of someone without any foundation, you qualify someone, you condemn him. Or it happens that you say, I kicked with what I said in a family, group meeting, and those who listen to you stay silent, nobody asks or says anything.

I make all these comments just to remind you that language is not innocent. Language generates consequences. Language, words are dynamic, they are in permanent transformation. We transform and transform ourselves through the language of words. A large number of relationships are damaged by the conversations that are had or those that are not. How much do you observe how you speak?

The impact that what you say generates. Have you noticed that a simple word can change a relationship? When I say change it, it means to fix it or damage it. A word like "sorry", "thank you", "I was wrong", "I love you", "I made a mistake", "I want to learn", "I recognize my ignorance" or "sorry" can transform a relationship.

Do you realize that in each family there is a different conversation, in each culture, in each country? That the same words, not for everyone, mean the same thing? Have you noticed that you distinguish the nationality of a person, of which country he is, by the way he speaks, by the tone he has, by the expression of some words? Do you think that a doctor uses a different language than a lawyer or a carpenter or a children's teacher?

If you realize that you permanently say things, you talk to yourself and from there you build your own stories and sometimes you believe them. That's the worst thing, that sometimes you believe them and you imagined them yourself. If you realize that the concepts are like the elbows, they all have one and they are different and sometimes there are similar elbows, concepts, similar interpretations. If you realize that

experiences, narrate them in one way and each one in front of the same experience goes and tells that experience in a different way? Have you ever wondered when you speak if you keep your words in the concepts and not in the action? It's only conceptual. For example, what's the point of having concepts if there is no action? We say that words generate action, but many people are paralyzed in their lives.

because they have not evaluated the consequences of their conversations. That is what this reflection is about. Conversations, the language determines the life you lead. If you ask me what link conversations have with relationships, I would say that it is a close contact, because perhaps to rescue a relationship, what is needed is a good conversation. There are conversations that are charged with fights,

Discouragement, judgments, guilt, unique truths. I am right and from there it will hardly be possible to give positive results. How are your conversations? On several occasions I have been insisting on the importance of reading. I have said it on the channel many times. Well, a reading is also a conversation.

That is why it is important to reflect on what I am saying through my readings, what I am listening to. It is like listening to the writer who wrote the book. If I am a person who never reads, surely there will be many voids to solve problems, those that life permanently poses. Everything happens to us. Human living manifests itself in that, in conversations. There are those who write, talk about a past full of ignorance,

frustration, perhaps resentment, or also a future filled with hope or fear, and this will determine how each one is standing in life. What a human being speaks, writes, thinks, belongs to life, and hence the importance of reflecting on what linguistic tools I possess to transform my life and that of others.

What I want to tell you is that if you have difficulties in your life that you have not solved, what would happen if you asked yourself if much of that difficulty is because of the way you talk? Based on everything I have previously exposed, I remember a question that I frequently ask here on the channel and I ask those who have personal coaching sessions with me, private sessions. I tell you this.

Does what we are talking about make sense to you? Does the question make sense to you? Does that answer make sense to you? And it is that by saying if it makes sense, it is that through the words we confer or not sense. You can hear something, read something, have a conversation, but if it doesn't make sense to you, if it doesn't make sense to you, it is a word, a conversation in which absolutely nothing happened. The other aspect.

It's that with words I build relationships, you build relationships and also you generate action. Something happens, words make things happen or not happen and that is also a consequence. Therefore, the quality of your life depends on the quality of what? Of your conversations. Do you want to have more quality? Well-being? Good relationships? Make decisions? Ask yourself how you talk.

What do you need to learn? And you will realize that even to talk, you need to learn something that everyone knows but does not apply: silence. Listen, reflect, take charge of the judgments you make to others, even the judgments you make of yourself. There are conversations of guilt in many people to give explanations to what happens to them. And it is in my opinion that being in those conversations

It does not lead anywhere to suffering, to anger, to resentment. And with what I propose now is to have conversations of experience instead of conversations of error. That helps to repair and to have peace. Peace can be affected in a certain situation for that. Just like in a gym, you invite those who visit you to build a new body. My invitation today is to build new conversations,

that will lead you to more nourishing, peaceful, and happy emotional states. To do this, I propose some conscious exercises that, if you do them, will help you get out of the crises that you may have now. It is something practical. 1. Observe how you talk, your tone of voice, the words you use, if those words unite, resolve, or on the contrary, hurt and separate.

to the other person of you. 2. Observe if you let others speak and listen to them. If you are able to stay in silence. 3. Be aware if you make judgments without any foundation. And if those judgments come to have a foundation, how conscious are you that that judgment is yours and not necessarily the other person makes sense to him?

Remember that I talked about what it means to make sense. If it doesn't make sense, nothing will happen. 4. Observe if you respect other cultures, beliefs, ways of talking and allow yourself to connect with the difference instead of criticizing that difference. For example, a 70-year-old woman talks differently to a 25-year-old woman. Are you aware of that? Do you respect that? 5.

Observe that each one speaks from their own distinctions. That is, a doctor speaks differently from a policeman. A 60-year-old father of a lawyer profession will speak differently from a 40-year-old father who is a merchant. So the idea is to become aware of that, that the distinction is what distinguishes. The doctor does not distinguish what the lawyer distinguishes. The merchant does not distinguish what a teacher distinguishes. They are distinctions. Six.

Learn to listen to the emotions of the other and yours. Words are full of emotions and what is spoken carries an energy where emotions speak worse than the same words. What energy was there in that conversation you had? What feelings moved and moved you? 7. Observe if your conversations to solve the situation

Are you doing them like that or is it to win and be right? Because what's the point of having a conversation to win if the problem is not solved? Yes, I won, I screamed more, but nothing was solved. 8. Observe if your conversations connect with the emotion of the other person, with culture, with the academic level, with age, with their feelings, with their needs. Do you know that there are people who just want to be heard? 9.

Observe if you keep your promises. Remember that promises are conversations, they are a conversation. And if you give space for complaints, you are breaking trust. That conversation broke trust. Ten, observe how clear your requests are. Asking is a conversation and many people expect to be given what they never ask for.

A request conversation is different from an expectation, the expectation is yours. To ask is to ask for something specific, a when, a how, a where, where do I want it. 11. Observe how you react to the no's of other people. The no is a linguistic statement and it is valid. What happens to you when they tell you no? How much do you use the no, the yes, in your conversations to legitimize yourself?

Remember that these two words do not determine what happens or does not happen in your life. It is to open or close possibilities. 12. Observe how concrete you are. There are people who talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and do not say anything. There are conversations that end in confusion and the idea is not to confuse, it is to clarify, inform or form or solve something or conversations to have fun.

13. Saying no is not legitimate and it is a conversation. If you do not handle the no, it will generate very complicated situations for you because your conversations are not powerful enough since you do not know how to set limits. 14. Observe if in your conversation you are complaining or complaining. The one who complains is standing in the victim, the one who complains sustains a conversation.

Why? Because there is a promise that was not fulfilled. The complaint surely, in the complaint nothing happens and the relationship remains the same or worse. 15. Observe if the conversations with yourself or with other people end in actions or it is just a waste of time where nothing happens. Remember that language is action, something happens and if nothing happens, check how effective your conversations are.

16.

Talk, stop writing. In this time when people usually send emails, WhatsApp messages, where they write instead of talking, you are escaping those deep conversations where you can look into the eyes of the other, feel it, feel their body, their tone of voice, their silences, their dreams, their fears, their confusions, their ignorance, their intentions.

In the epidemic of only writing, you can be causing harm to those relationships. Be careful to replace conversations with written messages. 17. Look at choosing the right moment to talk about something transcendent or profound. It's not always the instant, and if you know how to read the moment in your conversations, those conversations will be deeper and more sensitive.

18. You watch and scream, you attack, you offend. Those conversations wear out a relationship and do not solve anything. What happens if you review the difference between being firm in a conversation and being rude or disrespectful? 19. Conversations can be inspiring, motivating and full of love, despite differences and different appearances.

How about if you practice them? If you observe how inspiring what you speak is? And 20: We all have different personalities, different beliefs, cultures, studies, emotions that we all go through, different expectations. What would happen then if you take care of the impact that conversations with others and yourself generate in your life? That is today's idea.

Good coaching, good questions. There are people you would like to talk to, listen to. Are you one of them? Or on the contrary, nobody wants to talk to you? Big hug to all those who are able to redesign their way of speaking, of talking, of finding themselves with themselves and with others.