I Read Mommy Flaps so You Don't Have To (Don't Do It) 💦

Is it really worth it to make [music]

every mistake to learn this for

coolness?

Hello and welcome back to the channel.

If you're new here, my name is Natalie

Megan and this is Weirdo Book Club. And

if you're hearing a little

in here, it's because yeah, I'm still

sick. I am I am still sick, but I'm here

and I'm doing this because it's my job

and I love you. You don't have to say it

back. Oh my god, thank you so much for

saying that. I did dress up today not

because the book is good. Mainly I

dressed up to kind of counteract the

book to balance the book because the

book is terrible. I didn't even feel

comfortable putting a sponsor on this

with a title like this. I don't even

want to say it out loud. Say [snorts]

it. Let me see if I can work up to

saying it.

>> Out loud. Say it.

>> To human beings. I just, you know,

I

I'm [clears throat] a professional.

Today we will be discussing Suck Mommy's

Piss Flaps

>> [gasps]

>> by Leylah Moon. So before I get started

on this, a couple of disclaimers. The

first one's always the same. This review

will contain spoilers, opinions, general

[ __ ] talking, as if the title would get

anything less from me. But if none of

that sounds interesting to you, I urge

you to find another video. I'm sure

there's somebody out there that likes

this book and maybe they're talking

about it. Probably not, but maybe. I did

see a few Goodreads reviews that said

that this is their new favorite book. So

there are people out there and you are

welcome to go and find them. I might not

be one of your people. I didn't like

this book. Second disclaimer, this is

not for the author, stans of the author,

fans of the author, friends, fam of the

author. This is not for you. It's

probably not a place that you want to be

just knowing how I feel about this book

and what I'm going to say. So, you know,

if you come into my comments saying

something stupid, I'll block you. I'm

really good at that. It's like one of my

skills. So, it is what it is. Make good

choices unlike me reading this book. The

third disclaimer today, I don't usually

have three. Sometimes, every now and

then I'm feeling spicy. The third

disclaimer today is more specific to

this book because as I was talking about

this book over on my TikTok, if If

following me on Tik Tok, what are we

What are we up to? Anyway, I was on Tik

Tok and I was talking about this book

and somebody came in my comments and was

like,

"Is this the same author that got in

trouble and had a controversy?" And

honestly, at this stage of me doing all

of this stuff, um probably, because it

doesn't seem like anybody knows how to

behave, but I did not know of any

controversy when I picked this book up.

I just picked it up because of the

stupid title. But, it does look like

from the little research that I did, and

I'm not going to get into it here, but

allegedly, the author organized some

sort of collaborative fundraising

project where a bunch of different indie

authors and authors of this sort wrote

short stories for an anthology

collection to raise money for RAINN, a

nonprofit organization that benefits

people who are victims and survivors of

SA and R and other things like that that

YouTube doesn't want me to say out loud.

But, anyway, that is the case. And I

know what you're thinking right now.

You're like, "Natalie, that doesn't

sound like a scandal. What are you

talking about? It sounds like a good

deed." Yeah, it did, but then allegedly,

Layla Moon just kind of ghosted the

group chat she was in, and they had to

pull the book from being sold because

she kind of ran off with the money, or

so I saw, allegedly. I don't know. I

didn't do a whole lot of digging on it,

and when I went to Layla Moon's

profiles, obviously, there's nothing

about it on there. But, I did find this

thing on Facebook. And if you want to do

your own research, I just suggest

Googling Layla Moon Written in Blood

Controversy. That's what the anthology

was called. So, I'm again not going to

cover it here because I'm not that

That's not what I do. I usually just

stick to the

the books. And unfortunately for me

today, it's Piss Flaps Tomorrow the

World. But, yeah, just uh keep that in

mind if you're seeing this and you're

like, "Oh my god, I love a trash read. I

love a hate read. Give me." Like, maybe

not this person because allegedly, maybe

not so great of a person to support,

allegedly. I'm saying allegedly, I don't

[ __ ] know. But, without further ado,

let's get into the details of Sat

Mommy's Best Slams. Ah.

>> [sighs]

>> So, this is a dark romance horror

novella, right? On the cover that I saw,

it says like erotic splatterpunk, which

I think is doing a disservice to

splatterpunk, but also I don't really

think I'm the splatterpunk expert. I

know what it is. I've explored it a few

times. I've read a couple of books in

the genre, some of which I didn't

totally hate, but it seems like there's

a method to the madness in a

splatterpunk, a a good one anyway.

They're not just out here doing things

to make you uncomfortable. There's a

reason for it. They're trying to say

something to you. And you just have to

get through a bunch of body horror and

gratuitous violence in order to get it.

And I understand that. I understand that

in theory, but like I don't think that

that's what this book is doing. So, I

don't think that that is a correct

classification for it. I think dark

romance horror is better. But honestly,

it's just bad. So, I don't know how to

class I don't know. I I just whatever.

It's a dark romance horror novella, 74

pages originally published in 2024,

October 2024, spooky season. Let's read

the synopsis or what is available on

Goodreads as I pulled it up here. From

Amazon bestselling author Leila Moon

comes a feral feminist

blood-soaked dark novelette. Welcome to

Poppy's Haunted House filled with

spiders, bones, body parts, witchy

shenanigans, and a queer nutter who

absolutely does not play nice. Not a

nutter. She happens to be a professional

problem-solver. Oh, is that it? Is that

what she is? Is that her title? The kind

hired to deal with men who refuse to

understand consent. I didn't read this

before I read it. Kind of glad. I'm

always glad. In Poppy's world, predators

don't get second chances. They're

hunted. What's left behind becomes her

decor, trophies, and reminders that

actions have consequences. This twisted

short read blends pitch-black humor,

Okay. Right. Right. Unapologetic

violence and feral female rage into a

story that repels most readers. I don't

think that those are the reasons that it

repels people, but we're just getting

started, so I'm just going to sit back.

Um and then it has a little bulleted

list. It says, "Queer anti-hero,

questionable acts, dark humor and horror

vibes, morally irredeemable female main

character. The title should be enough,

you would think." And then it has a

break in the text. This is way too much.

This is longer than the book. And it

says, "You might think I'm your average

spooky queer goth girl who lives in a

haunted house with spiders, bones, bugs,

and witchy [ __ ] with a girlfriend who

has a girlfriend who has a husband, but

I'm more than that." Okay.

I'm a hit woman. They pay, I slay. Oh,

by the way, those stupid Stop it. Oh, by

the way, those bones that decorate my

house, as well as other things, are

little keepsakes from my victims. Psst.

Spoiler. I also keep their an eyeball.

>> [laughter]

>> Shut up.

Anyway, I kill men who have a hearing

issue. You know, the ones who can't hear

the word no when a woman says it. Yeah,

that's me. I'm Mommy. So,

>> [sighs]

>> "Suck Mommy's piss flaps" is a dark

feminine rage featuring explicit

content, unaliving, and minimal plot.

This novellette prioritizes horror

vibes, multiple love interests, and

justice served cold. Intended for 18+

readers only. Let me tell you something.

Not Not even a single bit of that is

true. That's not true. And um God, I

just really hated this book.

>> [gasps]

>> Okay, let's get into it, shall we? Why

not? We've kind of already covered a

little bit of the trigger warnings, but

let me see if there's a little more

listed on her website if she has one.

Oh, jeez. Okay. All right. Per her

website, we have content warnings, and

it says, "It is an erotic sapphic

humorous Stop saying that. STOP SAYING

THAT.

HIT WOMAN NOVELLA with dark elements. It

possesses a mild range of content

warnings. Please read, educate, and

understand these prior to purchasing the

book. Your mental health matters,

underline, all caps. If you have any

concerns or questions, please contact me

at any time. I'm not going to do that.

Um I do have concerns. Not going to do

that. So, here we go. Um in order of

alphabetical, it looks like we have anal

play, breeding, wide shoes, orgasm

denial, somnophilia, not of FMC,

voyeurism. Oh, it's not in alphabetical

order.

Multiple partners, exhibitionism, golden

shower, FMC, making others drink it,

inhumane murder, FF, FM, FFM, FFF, trans

F to M, M, MM, torture, public sex,

forcing people to have sex in public,

forced sex with opposite gender,

collecting body parts, rape, not of FMC.

Oh, thank god. Shoo. She just be She

just be doing it to everybody else.

Femdom, degradation, non-con, dub-con,

sadistic behavior, kidnapping/hostage,

forced proximity, mask play, BDSM, not

acted correctly, and does not practice

the safe use of RACK.

For those of you who don't know, RACK

stands for risk-aware consensual kink,

and it's a framework that acknowledges

the thrilling boundary-pushing nature of

kink while centering informed,

enthusiastic, and ongoing consent, which

we love. But the book doesn't do that.

Fantastic. Why would we Why would we do

that? Gang rape, not of FMC, sadism,

praise, removal of body parts, murder on

screen. On screen? This is a book. On

page. Orgasm control and polyamory.

Again, the synopsis and the list of

trigger warnings is longer than the

book. I am starting to not want to be

here.

>> [laughter]

>> But here I am. Actually, I think I need

help today. So, I don't really drink

energy drinks, but Hannah gave me one of

these the other day when I was at her

house, and

it was really good. So, I brought one

home with me. Cheers. Clink.

Oh, yeah. That's the stuff. If anybody

from Alani is watching, you know, you

could have had a

a

an ad spot on Suck Mommy's Piss Flaps,

you know, but you're playing. Not a

sponsor, but can be. Just just

weirdobookclub@gmail.com.

Let's just get started, shall we? I

don't know. Okay, I had to pull up the

book because I didn't highlight the

content warning and the playlist cuz

God, you know, there is one. And it has

a bunch of stuff that you would expect

to see here. And then also, Dangerous

Woman by Ariana Grande. Ariana, what are

YOU DOING HERE?

>> [laughter]

>> THEN WE HAVE A DEDICATION that reads,

"To the ladies who live in a world full

of fragile men who can't hear the word

no. Be the twisted

One moment.

I think we're missing a period {slash}

capital situation. So, I'm going to read

it as it's written, and then we can talk

about what the hell's going on. "To the

ladies who live in a world full of

fragile men who can't hear the word no.

Be the twisted little Uno that pulls a

reverse card and puts them on their

knees. Puts them to their knees,

actually. My bad. I corrected it because

that's what it should say. But okay, so

I think what it's meaning to say is, "To

the ladies who live in a world full of

fragile men who can't hear the word no."

Period. New sentence. "Be the twisted

little Uno that pulls a reverse card and

puts them to their knees." Hate all of

this. Horrible way to start because now

I know that um a quick glance proofread

wasn't done. But again, it's called Suck

Mommy's Piss Flaps. So, I am coming into

this with far too high of a bar.

I fear. And then it also the next for

Also, hate the Uno reverse thing. This

is not the last you'll hear of that. The

next page says, "Readers, repeat after

me. You exist to serve me. So, while

you're down there, suck my [ __ ]

bitch."

>> [laughter]

>> Yeah. Mhm. Yeah. Okay.

So, chapter one starts with a nice

little chunk of text. So, if you'll

allow me,

"I'm good," I chant to myself with a

smirk. My voice is muffled slightly by

the fabric ghost mouth mask that makes

me look like one of those Call of Duty

men.

Oh, yes. The name dropping and the the

the the I don't even know what to call

this. It's like when you're saying

things so that people will be like, "Oh,

she's qual. She knows her stuff." Call

of Duty, huh? Well, that's crazy.

There's just too many characters to name

in that game now. There's even a Michael

Myers one that has just come out in a

dead red riding hood look-alike, but I'm

queer as [ __ ] I play Rhea Ripley's

character. She's so [ __ ] sexy. Okay.

Right off the bat, it's just a lot.

Uh-huh. Oh, yeah. Okay. All right. You

know what? Back to zero. I feel better.

Woo. Okay, so the setup here is

basically what she said in both of the

synopses and every other thing that has

ever happened here. She is a contract

unaliver and she usually just goes after

people who are essay or are predators

who are out here getting

to do and live and go and be as they

please because consequences elude them.

Enter Poppy. Her name is Poppy, and

Poppy is not [ __ ] around. Except she

is, cuz that's another thing. It's very

strange, and we'll get into it, is is

she doesn't just take them out, she S A

N R's them making her [sighs]

a sexual predator. But I guess that's

what she means by Uno reverse. I

honestly couldn't tell you cuz I think

that this is dumber than a box of hair,

but we're here. We're in it, you know.

So she goes on that whole spiel about

how she loves Call of Duty and she just

starts name dropping people to seem like

she's interested in it. And it does say

in her acknowledgements that she does

play it or her author bio is like if I'm

not writing, I'm playing Call of Duty.

Like I'm glad. I am glad for that. I'm

glad you have a hobby. Everyone should.

I feel like we would have less problems

if people would just have a hobby. But

that was cringe. And then she goes on to

correct herself. She's like, I'm queer

as and I play Rhea Ripley's character.

And then she thinks to herself, [ __ ]

you have a [ __ ] trans husband. You're

pansexual. I correct myself. Why are we

talking to ourselves? And why are you

talking to me about it? And why did we

have to go through the whole rigmarole

just to get exactly nowhere. It's

already so irritating. So

um she's unaliving somebody, I guess.

And she gives us a quick rundown of the

fit. Got to do a fit check, okay? So

she's got like an oversized t-shirt,

runs down, hits mid-thigh, you know,

kind of thing. Ariana, what are you

doing here? She got black fishnets, tall

knee-high stiletto boots, black

lipstick, and spiked jewelry. It's

enough to ruffle their feathers. And

this man that she's unaliving is called

Greg. And Greg is apparently cheating on

his wife. And I hadn't read the synopsis

yet, nor had I read anything else about

Greg. So I was like, oh, I thought you

just took out people who deserved it.

Like I it's bad to cheat. Shave the

carrot. Don't do it. Um but like is it

die-worthy? I don't know. I don't know.

This really isn't for me to decide, you

know. Only God can judge us.

>> [laughter]

>> So she talks a little bit about how

seeing grown men like this squirm make

her bundle of nerves pulsate.

>> your [ __ ] throb right there? So, she

not only does this because she cares

about justice for the victims, which is

ironic given the allegations, but she

also just gets horny for it. So,

um and you know, we can talk about this

at a later time, but I find it to be

very unsettling when people in these

situations, me and Rachel were talking

about this, how they make other people's

essay and are about themselves. Like,

sure, you're doling out justice left and

right. Open up a can of whoop ass on

them. Sure, you are, but you are not

centering the survivors in this. You're

centering You're like, how can I make

this about me? And and then you have sex

with them while you're doing it? It just

kind of doesn't seem It doesn't really

seem like if you did this, you do care

about survivors. But, life imitating

art, allegedly. And she's going on and

on more about how she can dress like

this more comfortably during October

because it's Halloween, so nobody stops

and stares that she looks like this. The

murderer, aka me, can walk around

sporting the blood of my victims and

carry jars of their organs and no one

will bat an eyelid because it's October.

Halloween. Bat an eyelid. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, right. Right. And she talks about

some of the stuff that she does. She

like will gouge their eyes out, put them

in jars, cut their stuff off, make them

eat it, you know, that's just great.

And then [clears throat] she goes on

about Greg and like how this client

wanted him dead because he cheats and

has an obsession with corn. That's where

I was like, why are we doing this?

Because I thought we only did like

predators or something. And then she not

only not only does she essay Gregers,

but she also does his wife because

quote, "There's a sliver of care factor

left in my black gothic heart to not

walk away from a stunning woman like

Macy and leave her in the condition it

was. And that woman is like a [ __ ]

waterfall. A bit of WD-40 and dusting

out the cobwebs and she was good as new.

I'm having trouble caring about anything

that you say or liking you but at all

because of the way you're talking about

these victims,

survivors, and The way you speak about

people in general and yourself, you must

be [ __ ] unbearable to live with. And

she goes on. She's a talker, okay? And

not in a fun way that we're doing here.

She's just yapping about nothing and

she's so annoying. So she's like, "The

worst part of it is he had like one girl

and then another and then another and he

asked his wife for the money to pay for

them. Something about needing to buy

more dog food while she was at work. And

don't ask about the dog. That's neither

here nor there. Not today." I need you

to know the dog never comes back up. I

don't know what you're talking about. I

have no idea where this is coming from

and why are you speaking to me directly?

Why are you breaking the fourth wall to

speak to me?

>> How dare you speak to me? So she takes

him out. I think she does some sexual

stuff with him and then plucks his

eyeball out to put in a jar for her

cadenza or wherever. I don't know where

she's going. It was easy to kill him,

which kind of sucks because it's weeks

away from Lotsville's annual cornfield

hunt, Lots of Screams with a Z. My

favorite time of year for a killing

spree because it's 25 and over horror

spectacular. The perfect kind of prey

for this 90s kid just casually living

her best life at 35. I mean, I kill for

a living, sure, but I won't kill a

minor. Oh, shoot.

>> [laughter]

>> That's great.

Well, it's nice to have boundaries,

isn't it? Hate this [ __ ] Okay, so lots

of screams, right? Is this festival that

happens on Halloween-ish,

I think, where a bunch of

over-25-year-olds consent, like they

sign forms that they're going to run

through this little maze or whatever,

and people are allowed to do whatever

they want to them. And women sign it

without reading the fine print, which is

like they're allowed to do anything to

them, and they also do not background

check these men. So, it's just a bunch

of predators running around and actually

inflicting crimes on people, and, you

know, that's why it's her favorite, cuz

she gets to doll out justice,

Poppy-style. That's great. She Well, in

her words, she says, "I can unleash my

horror" with a W. That's a pun. That's a

double entendre. It's It's It's nothing.

It's [ __ ]

It's only It's only 74 pages, right?

Right? Like, we can get through this. We

can We can get through this. And I'm

doing this while sick. Man, this is a

great time for me to like have a little

interlude here where I tell you that

your support during this time has meant

a lot to me. For those of you who don't

know, I recently lost my grandma. I'm

also having like a ratatouille of family

emergencies, like big, life-changing

things that have come up and made it

hard for my nervous system to calm down,

and I have also been sick, and it's just

a lot's going on, and I'm really, really

tired. Some health stuff I don't want to

get into. I'm fine. I'm safe. I'm okay.

But, you know, it's just been a lot of

stuff one on top of the other, hence me

saying it's a ratatouille of [ __ ] And

you being here, and this being my job,

and giving me something to do and focus

on and pour myself into, even if it is

Suck Mommy's Piss Flaps, it means

everything to me, and I'm not going to

cry in the middle of a review of a book

called Suck Mommy's I'm not going to,

okay? You guys offer the reprieve that

my weary soul needs, because making

these videos for you and having this

time and hearing about your days and how

you put my videos on while you're doing

chores or while you're studying for your

finals or whatever it is that you're

doing. That feels important to me

because someone some wise sage in my

comments told me that joy is not

frivolous. It is important and vital to

our survival and you guys have expressed

multiple times that I give that to you

and so it

>> [laughter]

>> Cut. So it means a lot for me to get to

make this stuff for you and it's giving

me um something to disappear into, which

I have needed for a while now. So I love

you. You don't have to say it back.

That's good. Let's get back to it, shall

we? Okay, so we're still talking about

Greg. This is literally like a time warp

where it's 74 pages and I should have

breezed through it, but it was

absolutely abhorrent and painful every

single sentence. So it took forever, it

seemed like, it felt like for sure. But

she's still talking about Greg, how she

pretended to be like a lost helpless

little lamb and he invited her back to

his place and she saw him slip something

into her drink, but oh, Greg doesn't

know I already put cyanide in his drink.

I like it when their mouths bubble for

me. Okay, great. You shut up. We're

going to play the shut the [ __ ] UP GAME.

YOU'RE FIRST.

YOU GO FIRST. Your turn. Then she's

talking to us again. I don't want to be

addressed directly by you, please. I pop

my lips together and blend my favorite

shade of lipstick, black. I have a thing

for black, okay? This one has a pearl

shimmer though. So it makes me feel a

little bit more fancy. I don't care. I

do not care. So she does eliminate him,

right? And she's dragging his body to a

cast iron bath, which I did not know is

something that exists. Maybe in the

1912s. Let me Let me check. Maybe I'm

stupid. That is always an option.

Current bathtubs are made out of

fiberglass, acrylic, and enamelled

steel. What does a cast iron bath look

like? I mean they are Okay, these are

like the older ones. I guess. I I don't

I don't know, and I don't care, and I

don't know why I'm doing this to myself.

So, let's just keep going. She's

bringing him to the bathtub, and she you

know, it's it's it's difficult to drag

him, but do not underestimate me. I may

be small, but I'm built like a brick

[ __ ]

And then she

douses him in some sort of flammable

liquid, and then strikes up a Zippo

lighter and throws it in. You whoosh,

you know.

She's like, I could have used matches,

but the Zippo's so much cooler. Who are

you trying to impress? And also,

they might recover the Zippo lighter

from the flames and be able to trace it

back to you as opposed to a match. So,

you're you're annoying and stupid, but

whatever. She burns him first, and then

takes some of the bones for her treasure

trove, of course. And then also pours

some sort of acid over him to turn

everything into jelly liquid or

whatever, and just sweep him right on

down the drain. I place the jar that

contains his carnage eyeball and a

little sticker that says Greg on my

bookshelf. So, she's back home, right?

And right, she puts Greg's eye right in

front of a silly little dark romance

book. Is it cliché that a goth girl like

me lives in a black-painted,

weathered-looking mansion that looks

totally [ __ ] haunted from the outside

with spiderwebs, dead trees, pumpkins,

candles, and a bunch of other stuff that

she already listed in the synopsis

twice?

Yes, it is cliché. Thank you for asking,

since you're directly addressing me and

asking me things and saying things to

me, which you shouldn't be. Don't even

look at me. LOOK AWAY. MEG, [screaming]

I KNOW. LOOK AWAY. YEAH, it is cliché.

Not a single ounce of this is creative

or inventive, imaginative. None of it.

None of it. Not a single thing. It's all

bad. Maybe, but that's my life. That's

me. Sometimes I think I should be a

normal 35-year-old woman, but being

normal is boring. Normal people don't

dance around a raging bonfire under a

full moon with their witchy serial

killer girlfriends in shaggy dresses and

no bras, their hair down and no shoes so

they can feel the [ __ ] earth beneath

them and rid the negativity of killing

people for a living. I'm not normal, so

let us [ __ ] dance. I've never wanted

to be normal more in my life. If this is

what being not normal is, I take me off

the roster. I would like to be normal,

boring, typical. I would like to be

typical. Honestly, it's a little dull.

It's a vicious circle because the more

weird you get at a certain point, you

circle back around to being boring. Like

you're trying so hard that I'm actually

falling asleep, you know? So, you know,

good for you. And so, then she's talking

about more about her methods and how she

pretends to be this person and then like

gets them right where she wants them and

then pulls the Uno reverse card on them.

You know what's funny, too? Nothing.

Nothing in this book is funny despite

multiple times of it mentioning it's

humorous.

Um it's funny to me that you had an a

calling card right there in this stupid

thing that you keep saying about Uno

reverse that you could leave an Uno

reverse card at the scene of every

unaliving and it's just built right in,

but you didn't even do that. I do not

recall a single time where there is an

actual tangible Uno reverse card that

she pulls and then throws on their dead

bodies. I do not recall, but you know, I

I feel like even that is a little

predictable if you're going to say Uno

reverse in your story and make it like a

thing. That would be kind of a

predictable thing to do, but it also is

a little bit more creative than what

we're seeing here. Killing turns me on.

Killing undeserving men makes me

undeniably horny. Okay, great. And then

also, you know, she mentioned and

girlfriend and her girlfriend's

girlfriend and then her girlfriend's

husband who's trans female to male,

which is the reason she talked to me in

the first place. She's like, "I'm trans.

I'm pansexual." Okay, great. I'm lucky

to be blessed with three lovers. Rita,

my perfect girlfriend, Jordan, my

girlfriend's girlfriend, and Caleb or

Callum, Jordan's husband. He's

transgender and the perfect addition to

our Kayla chaotic little love circle.

The circle is a square. And what did

square mean in like early 1950s slang?

>> You're a pretty little square. Oh, it

meant you were boring.

Yep. Anyway, if this is queer

representation in media, I don't want

it. It's stupid. They're all bad people

and like good for you. You deserve each

other, I guess. Everybody deserves love.

It's so bad and I I don't I don't want

it. But it is proof that not only the

straights are not okay. So, I guess

hooray. She mentions something cutesy

cuz she's like messing with her somebody

and just like being a pain in the ass is

my love language. That's cute. That's

great. Okay.

Um and so she's there zayded out, right?

And she's got like monitors. She's

looking at all of these cameras she has

set up. One specifically is in like it

seems like a strip club where the owner

has called her to kind of like lock in

because there's these men that keep

targeting this like one dancer who has

like red hair. Um but she's sitting

there. She's trying to get some work

done, okay? And then one of her stupid

girlfriends has the audacity to call her

at 2:00 a.m. "I just miss your voice is

all." She must be ovulating. You're I'm

expected to believe that this is a queer

woman, a queer pan poly woman, feminist

woman, and you talk about women like

this? Your girlfriend calls you in the

middle of the night because she misses

you and you're like, "She must be

ovulating." Oh my god.

Um okay. And then it gets worse. Well,

not worse. It's a lateral move. I'll

call you first thing, okay? Okay, I love

you. Love you, too, sugar tits.

>> [sighs]

>> She is getting dressed to go and do

whatever it is that she's she's doing.

Is this still chapter one? Oh, no, I'm

on chapter two. I I started Sorry, it

doesn't even matter. Let's just keep

going. So, she's getting dressed to go

and do whatever this is, like a recon

mission or like intercept the predators

as they attempt to like hone in on this

girl, this dancer girl. Perks of being

the ideal woman for the male gaze. I

have the

ass and hips of a [ __ ] For This is a

woman. I'm Oh god. For the record, if

I'm wearing a tight dress, it's going to

be for the pleasure of my own, never a

[ __ ] man's. It's going to be for the

pleasure of my own. All right. So, she's

getting dressed and she's also

researching these people that she's

about to these men that she's about to

go attack and stuff and typical browser

history, just corn sites on top of corn

sites and fetish stuff and like

whatever. One type I'm not sure I ever

want to revisit. Ever heard of two

girls, one cup? Don't recite the ancient

horrors to me, witch. Okay. Thankfully,

I never saw that, but I definitely heard

of it, yes. So, great. Yeah, thanks for

asking, I guess. Why would you bring

this up? Why would you say that? Why

would you even say that? So, she's

looking at all of these people,

whatever, and she's saying to or she's

thinking,

yes, you will be getting your wet

tonight. Wetten up [ __ ] jar. You're

preserved in jars side by side on my

shelf will be perfect for the

collection. The three dicketeers.

>> [laughter]

>> I WANT TO LEAN in real quick. First of

all, thank you for being here. Like and

subscribe if you're having a good time.

Um also maybe check out my newsletter or

whatever. All the links are down below.

Two, the second thing, the second thing

I want to say is that I want you to

remember that this book multiple times

said that it was going to be humorous.

It was going to be funny. The three

dicketeers. I laugh at my ridiculous

thoughts. You're the only one. The ADHD

wanders in my brain have been chronic

lately. What? The ADHD wanders in my

brain have been chronic lately. First of

all, we love neurodivergent rep. Let's

give it the

Leave my [ __ ] out of your shitty [ __ ]

[ __ ] okay? So she's again, she's still

looking at these guys and she's they're

going to this club and there's

apparently going to be a masquerade

aspect to the night or whatever and

she's really hoping she can keep it

together cuz she has a thing for masks.

Like you're literally going there to

unalive people. Maybe focus on your

work.

THERE IS A REALLY REALLY HOT ONE THERE.

So there's three guys and one of them is

super yummy yummy yum, okay? Ryan

Gosling comes to mind, which again, Ryan

Gosling doesn't deserve this. Shane West

did not deserve to be eviscerated in We

All Rot Eventually by Me Ballard. Y'all

just need to leave people alone. Like

and if you're going to put somebody in

here, throw throw shitty men like Shia

LaBeouf in there. Like [ __ ] like I

know he's unwell, but like y'all Okay,

I'm not going to talk about that.

Focus. Ryan Gosling comes to mind. Mm.

That man could me into my grave and I'd

still beg for more. Focus, Poppy. And

then she does something even worse. Like

it just keeps getting worse and more

uncomfortable and more unfortunate as

you go on. So she's trying to pick which

masks she wants to wear, right? And so

she opts for a pink ghost face mask.

Very cutie, very demure, very Shut the

[ __ ] up, Poppy." I think to myself. Why?

Why? Not one person in this book besides

yourself deserves this. Any name drop,

Call of Duty didn't deserve this. Very

demure, very cutesy, very mindful did

not deserve this. Ryan Gosling did not

deserve this. I've had Rhea Ripley? Rhea

Ripley does not None of these nouns

deserve to be here, to have a spot in

this [ __ ] book.

God, I scold myself. TikTok has [ __ ]

ruined me. Is it really TikTok? You're

going to blame TikTok for this? For your

ultimate downfall? I feel like you're

bad already. You could do bad all by

yourself. Shout out Medea. Talk to me

like that one more time. Remember, I

don't hate all men, just the ones who

don't do right by women. I love good

men, loyal men, deserving men. I loved

my husband

before he tried to kill me. So, that's a

bit of a lore drop, but she doesn't

actually go into detail at this

juncture. She plugs it in later when

it's already out of my brain cuz who

cares, and it's not exciting at all.

Like her girlfriend that she has now,

they met each other when she had just

left her husband who tried to kill her,

and then they teamed up and took him out

instead. And that's where the first

murderer's impulses came from, and now

they're in love. That's all. There's

nothing to it. So, she's also dressed up

to look like this dancer that she's on

her way to protect so that they can do

like a switcherooney in the alleyway,

and then the guys that are following and

tailing her and trying to get her into

their vans or whatever the hell people

try to do. They aren't going to get her.

They're going to get Mommy. Not the

mama. Not the mama. Not the mama.

Not the mama. Now, for those of you who

didn't see it, you saw me have quite a

reaction to Your Dad Will Do and the

daddy domi-

dynamics that are in that book. I'm

upset right now because, you know, fun

fun fun fun. I do not feel the same

about mommy stuff. I do not. I do not.

It's just a matter of personal

preference, you know? But I I hate this.

I hate it. I I hate it for many reasons.

But anyway, they do the little

switcherooney. The guys are tailing or

there's three of them, remember? One of

them looks like Ryan Gosling. And the

one that looks like Ryan Gosling, on top

of being like the hottest person ever,

who she would gladly let bang her into

the grave, is he also seems like very

like reluctant to be here. Like he's

just doing he's just following orders. A

submissive maybe? Wink. Oh god. So, as

they're coming up behind her, now that

they've done the switcherooney and she's

firmly locked in place with her red wig

and everything,

they are behind her calling out to her,

"Hey [ __ ] slow down. We just want to

talk." [ __ ] How dare he? Hm. I know.

I'll piss in his mouth.

Ha! He calls her a [ __ ] and she goes,

"I know. I'll pee in his mouth." Whoa,

buddy. Whoa. And I know to the

uncultured swines out there watching

that you might just think that this is a

hollow nothing sentence.

An attempt at a reaction based on

nothing. It's empty. It's vapid. It's

spam. Okay? There's nothing to it. It is

a pie without the filling. It is a flat

dirty pillow on the side of the road. I

know that you're probably thinking that,

okay? But um this is actually allegory

and commentary on Big Pharma.

Oh jeez. This is cardboard. It's

nothing. It's less than nothing. It's a

negative integer. So yeah, she starts

playing with these men as they, you

know, approach her quickly. And she's

saying, you know, stuff that's kind of

like, "Oh, what's going on here? Why is

she acting like this? Why isn't she

scared?" You know, kind of thing. But

little do these guys know, she's a brick

[ __ ]

>> [music]

>> [ __ ]

Um and then obviously Ryan Gosling,

while the other two are kind of being

the main aggressors. He's kind of like

slinking away and and looking down.

Interesting. Is it Is it interesting? I

don't think it is. But apparently every

time she looks at him her throbs. I was

I literally going to say that made my

throb. Okay. And then

she talks about how hearing her girl's

voice earlier like had her all revved up

anyway and now thinking about these two

being forced to blow each other is just

like sending her over the edge. Okay.

This mask kink isn't helping the buzz

going on in my either. You dark romance

books book talk bike talk cod talk mask

talk. They're all my in weakness. I'm

like what DID YOU SAY [ __ ] ME FOR?

AGAIN, I I have to remind myself of what

this is called and the person who

allegedly wrote it. I mean Laila Boone

did write it, but I don't know. Like I'm

saying the alleged kind of person that

they are based on the things that I

read. I don't I don't know what I was

expecting, but it's still some and it

was very low. Like my expectations were

not like the next great American novel.

Give this person a Nobel Peace Prize. It

was what you would expect. It was still

very low. Like the very least would be

that the sentences make sense and that

the humor that you spoke of shows up but

at all ever once.

>> [ __ ] where the is it?

Where the [ __ ]

is it? So she nicknames Ryan Gosling's

character pet icy. It's time for this

Uno to flip face up. Uno reverse baby.

What are you talking about? I I I'm

having I Not to quote myself, but I'm

having trouble following this analogy. I

am having trouble

following this analogy.

>> [laughter]

>> All right, we're on chapter four now.

I'm sorry I'm not keeping up with the

chapters. It's just it's it's almost

like none of this matters.

It's almost exactly what it's like.

In a flash I hike up my skirt and my

throbbing is out. I shove myself into

small Okay, so she's killing them now.

Great, right, right. And

that's her finishing move or like one of

them. She just whips it out and shoves

it in their face. And this time she

goes, "Anyone order a golden shower?"

Ew. And then she says the thing, the

title. That's it.

Mommy's piss flaps.

I begin to down the throat of the man

who's dumping his load into a dead body.

Oh, that's right. So she unalived one of

them and she's forcing the other one to

our him as she's peeing you know I

Oh, no. Wow, shocking turn of events.

That is crazy. Um

>> [sighs and gasps]

>> Oh, it's so dumb IT'S BRILLIANT. NO,

IT'S JUST DUMB. And then I guess after

she unalives the the pee golden shower

boy, now she turns back to Ryan Gosling.

I'm not going to call him Ryan Gosling.

I feel like that is an affront,

a personal attack. And I like Ryan

Gosling. I mean, I don't really know

him, but I like him in some movies. Hey

girl, bet you'd rather be doing these

dishes.

But the pet icy character is like,

"What? My I've been a good boy." You

know, and she's like,

"Yeah, you have I guess." And then she

sees his junk I suppose and says, "It's

thick and long. Big enough to hit where

it needs to without wanting to climb the

walls." I don't know what that means. I

I have no idea what that means. Chapter

five. She's back home and her girlfriend

Jordan is there also and she's like,

"Did you bring a dead body into the

house, babe? Babe. Babe. Is there a dead

guy in the basement, babe? Babe." Bye,

babe. So this gives us a little bit more

insight into the relationship, none of

which I wanted. But like apparently

Jordan works at a morgue, which is

perfect because that helps her be able

to dispose of the body. She just loads

them into her Prius or whatever and

takes them over there and then Jordan

helps to get rid of them. No no big

deal, right? Ironic, isn't it? A hit

woman who just so happens to work with

and be in a relationship with the people

who own and work at a mortuary. Okay, so

they all do. They all own it. They all

work there, whatever. That's cute. Um

it's not ironic. It is literally how it

was written. And that is a really

annoying thing that pops up in books

occasionally where people are like,

"Isn't it so crazy that my name is

Winnie and my great grandma's name was

Wendy and she was with Peter Pan and now

I am?" No, it was written that way. That

was just an example. I don't think they

did that in the book. But like, no. And

why are you talking to me? Why do you

keep talking to me? Don't talk to me.

>> [music]

>> And then she goes on to say, "Just Just

one of the worst things that she could

have said. This is very personal to me

specifically, so this is a zoomed-in

take. My real name is Poppy Faye, but

I've also been known as Misha, Britney,

Rain, Diamond, Michaela, Genie, Bree,

Deanna, Melanie,

Natalie.

I should get some sleep.

>> [snorts and laughter]

>> So, Jordan again switches back to the

person that's in their basement. It's

like, "What is he doing here? We have

not had a play thing in years." And she

gives us a little bit of background into

that. Like, "We have had play things

before, but they don't leave alive,

silly boys." You know, so they they will

sometimes bring one of them home and and

just all hit it and then they quit it,

you know? And then this is also when she

tells us like when she met Rita, I

guess, the other one. Um

she looked in her eyes and could tell

that she had a dark soul like mine. And

then um they unalived her husband. So,

sure. And it seems like they are doing a

little quickie with pet icy, which I

don't know why we're calling them this.

I hate it. So, they're tag teaming it,

but he doesn't get to arrive and she

tells us this in a beautiful way. As

much as I want him to fill me with his

creamy goodness, I won't allow it. You

say to have to say creamy goodness as

we're approaching Easter season, so the

Cadbury eggs are coming, is a crime

against humanity. And this is my fault.

This is on me, okay? So, and now I've

ruined Cadbury eggs for you. Great.

Well, I'm sorry.

>> [laughter]

>> So, they they do that. Chapter 6.

They're getting dressed so that they can

go to this festival cuz it the time has

come, you know? And she says, "Rita and

I look like carny folk." To catch them

off guard, we were what every

blue-collar middle-aged man loved but

couldn't get, lesbian carny folk.

Listen, I am not a blue-collar

middle-aged man, but I'm sure there are

some out there. Maybe you know some,

maybe you're married to some, maybe

you're related to some. And that is just

such a specific thing to say that could

easily be crowd-sourced and

fact-checked. Like with just simple data

collection. I don't think this is a

thing. I don't think this is a thing

that blue-collar middle-aged men want

lesbians who look like they work at a

carnival. I just really I just really

don't think that's true. So, if you know

any blue-collar I almost said blue-aged

collar men.

>> [laughter]

>> If you know any blue-collar middle-aged

men, could you

ask? Could you ask and let me know,

please? Shish. I don't know where they

are. I don't know. It's not important.

She's unaliving someone while making

them suck on her title card things.

Piece of garbage wouldn't even know a if

it was right under his nose. First of

all, it is right under his nose. And

second of all, this is this is a man who

ours people. You're trying to zing him

and belittle him with these like jokes?

He wouldn't know a

Uh-huh. I don't think he's concerned

with that because he's a predator. He's

a predator. I don't think he cares. I do

not think he cares. So, zang, no. He

like arrives or she arrives, somebody

arrives and also dies all over her

shoes, but she'll get to that later. And

then a few pages later she summons her

pet over to clean her shoes with his

tongue and then she says again, breaking

the fourth wall, speaking to me

directly, "I said I'd get to that

later." I didn't care when you said it

the first time. I don't care now. I wish

you'd stop talking to me. Stop. Don't

talk to me, loser lame ass wanna be.

She's getting dressed. "I'm equipped

with adequate weapons. Two blades

strapped to my thighs, a pistol around

my ankle in my boot and one more, a

retractable knife shoved inside my"

Okay, why would you put it there? If

it's a switchblade, one wrong move and I

No, I'm not going to say that I wish

that that would happen. I do hate this

person. I do not wish a violent death on

anyone actually.

Um,

but she's fictional. This is the dumbest

thing I've ever heard. Oh, she also

mentions that she's on her period.

"The feminine power that I feel right

now is insane. A feeling one cannot

explain. Period rage and slaughter? Yes,

please."

I beg you, shush. She's dressed as Do

you want to guess? Do you want to guess

what she's dressed as? I went more

basic. I went with like a devil or

something, but it's actually

Hecate. "I'm dressed as our mother

Hecate." I think I'm saying that right.

I always forget. "A dark bitch." No,

"the dark [ __ ] who you don't want to

reckon with. The queen of queens, the

goddess of goddesses,

mother." She would hate you. Face only a

mother could No, she would hate you. She

would literally hate you. So, I hate

you. We hate you. We just met. And then

as she's continuing to get dressed, she

also dresses up her little pet as a

hellhound and she says, "Sex metal

Barbie comes to mind. Homicidal queen,

low class, white trash, so obscene. I'm

definitely white trash, definitely

obscene, and I'm definitely homicidal.

As someone with ties to white trashdom,

I've gotten away from it a little bit in

my age aging process, but like I

definitely have roots in that. I don't

want you at the barbecue, the the family

reunion, the function. I don't want you

anywhere near. I I hate you, absolutely.

So then she does something that I really

can't stand and and like that's

literally the whole book is like, "Hi,

welcome to the show. We're going to

discuss piss flaps today." Um the entire

book consists of her doing and saying

things that make me [ __ ] mad and are

stupid and make no sense. Thanks for

watching. Like and subscribe. But she

has her stupid pet hellhound guy grab

the knife from my hole and me with it.

So he takes the switchblade out,

activates it, you know, and then holds

the knife in his palm and does her with

the handle. And I just don't understand

why we do this. And this goes for

anytime this comes up where someone's

gripping a blade when they are like

trying to prove that they're not demon

like Supernatural does this a lot where

they like cut their hand to show that

they're not a demon or a shifter or

whatever it is that they're you know,

being accused of being because of silver

knife, whatever. As somebody who had a

recent injury to her finger and it took

it still hurts now. It's still like a

little like stiffer in cold weather and

I've recently just got full mobility

back. I cut my finger in late October,

right before Halloween. It is February.

No, it's March. Happy March everyone.

It's March. So October, November,

December, January, February. Four

months. So like specifically with things

like Supernatural, you're telling me

that you sliced open the palm of your

hand and you're just out here hunting

ghouls the next day like nothing

happened. That's not true. That is a

suspension of disbelief I cannot afford.

So, it really pisses me off when it's

happening in a in a situation like this

because the harder you grip it and the

more force you're applying, you're going

to saw right through your hand. And I

just like blood play is one thing. This

is a completely different thing. And

with the supernatural thing, like all

you had to do was like nick right here.

Just right there. Just a little nick

shows that it's not activating you in

any kind of a way or you're having a

reaction to it. And then you can, you

know, slap a band-aid on it, use some of

Sam's hair, sew it up. I don't know what

you do. And go about your merry way.

This is important. Your hands are

important. Geez.

What are we talking about? He's, again,

pushing the blade in further, like the

handle of the blade. He's gripping the

blade, pushing it further in. And the

pressure hits the knot that is my

G-spot. This is a switchblade, remember?

Okay, I want to see when fully Okay, so

I just googled this and it could be true

for all of them. It could be like an

average or something. It says, "When

fully ejected, the average total length

for switchblades stands at approximately

9 in." "Unlike the switchblade

counterparts, folding pocketknives

typically around 4 in." Okay, I don't

care about pocketknives. If it's a 9 in

This looks like about 9 in. Wouldn't you

say? I don't really know. I'm not really

good with measurements. Actually, I have

a thing on my phone. Let's see.

Actually, I have the box. It'll just

tell me. How In theory, product size Oh

my god, millimeters? Who do you think I

am? How much is 238 mm in inches? 9 and

1/2 in.

Cabron. Your [ __ ] is good. Okay, so

this is about 9 in here. Okay? So, that

means half of it, which I guess this

part of the thing would be the blade and

this part would be the handle. So, half

of it is just the size of an average

male. For an Is that true? I don't know.

Hold on. Average

penis size. We are googling some stuff

today. 5 in. Oh my god. Good for you

guys. High five. It's between 3 and 1/2

to 5 and 1/2. So, yeah, it's in there

somewhere. So, half of it and like to

hit the G spot, you have to

go you have to go in. You have to go in.

You know what I mean? Hold on, we're

doing a lot of we're doing a lot of sex

math. Oh, okay. The location of the G

spot is typically about 2 to 3 inches

inside Okay. Okay. All right. You know

what? Sometimes when your [ __ ] is

wrong, your [ __ ] can say that she's

wrong. I'm wrong. I thought it was a

little harder to reach. It just takes a

little bit more maneuvering, I will say.

But it does Okay, cuz I was like, this

is a switchblade. How are you reaching

the G spot with a switchblade? But also,

it doesn't really make any sense that

you could do that anyway, even if it is

just 2 or 3 inches in there. It's kind

of you have to like

>> [laughter and clears throat]

>> You have to There's a lot of diagrams on

my screen right now.

It requires like And the switchblade is

straight, which is just Okay.

I'm getting a little upset about

something that doesn't matter. So, let's

just let's just move on. Chapter 7.

So, they're at the event and she's like,

"Come on, Pat. Let's go hunting." Okay.

So, they do and she's like listening for

screams that are like not the fun kind

of kiki we're having fun screams or

we're like, "Oh my god, you scared me."

screams. They're She's listening for

like actual screams of fear and danger.

She hears two men talking, two men that

she has already looked at and

researched. One of them's name is Pat

and one of them's name is Corey cuz she

like hacked into the system or whatever

and got all of the invitees and the

attendees information. And so, she knows

that they are actually recent offenders

and they were recently released and they

have priors. So, she's gunning for them,

Pat and Corey, right? It doesn't really

matter who they are. None of this

matters. And then she says, "Little Uno

is about to pull the reverse card." Why

do you call yourself that? You can't

give yourself a nickname, one, and then

two, if you're going to give yourself a

nickname, you better at least explain to

me where it came from and why you're

doing it. That's the least you could do

for putting me through this hell. All of

this is terrible. It's not good. Not a

single shred of thought was used except

for what else can I do? I'm going to

have them pee in my mouth. What are we I

Yeah, it's not hard. That's something

else that I want to talk about, which is

pull up a chair. Scoot in. People are

like, well, if you just don't like dark

books, don't read them. It's not about

that, okay? And it's never been about

that. It's about skill. It's about

creativity. It's about imagination.

Imagination.

Okay? And there's none of that here. It

is not hard. I could probably do it with

like within the like before summer gets

here to write a book that's just filled

with stupidity and gratuitous acts of

violence to shock and make people

uncomfortable. I could do that. There's

nothing here. There's nothing to eat.

I've become desensitized to this, and

it's literally just 74 pages of her

saying stupid crazy [ __ ] and then the

end. Anybody could do this. That's the

problem I have because I want to like

this genre so bad, and I have a few

little things that I do like, a couple

of dark romance titles that I did enjoy.

I had fun with. If you want the full

list, it's on my bindery, and it's at

the top. I'll I'll put it here. It's at

the top, and it just says dark romance

that didn't suck or something like that.

Through all of the things that I've

read, and I have read a lot in the last

3 years that we've been doing this

together, I've only found those titles,

and I might need to go back through and

make sure I didn't miss anything because

I have I have explored a few things that

I do enjoy and I do like, but you'll

notice a theme in the ones that I like

usually. Either it's such a fun

ridiculous concept that I'm having a

great time the whole time, or there is a

semblance of a plot and a bigger picture

that all of the nonsense and the trauma

and the darkness and the gore and all

that stuff is working towards and

building up. And so all of this that's

just I saw him at a gas station once so

I put the gas tank in his mouth and

filled him up. Oh, fill up on five, you

know, I hahaha. What's the point? There

is none. There's not one. But you got me

to read it so I guess joke's on me. I

yuck.

Okay, let's let's rein it back in. Let's

bring it down. My pulse is elevated. So

she goes over to one of them. I don't

remember if it was Pat or Corey, but

they are trying to attack a girl and she

just stabs one of them in the stomach

and he's like, "Did you just stab me?"

And she goes, "Let me check. Let me

check." I deadpan. And with my fingers I

find the broken flesh somewhere along

the middle section of his back. I rotate

one finger in a full circle inside it

and he howls like a midnight wolf would

call to a moon.

Yep, looks like I did stab you. Okay,

great. And then he's like, "Who stabs a

random person?" And she goes, "Who ars a

random person?" Tit for tat with this

tit for tat with this predator. Wow.

In all of this you're like, "Do you like

how it feels? This is what it feels like

to be SA'd." And then you're also saying

like my is drenched at the thought of

this. I love this. This gets me going.

So you're a sexual predator, too. I had

the same conversation when we were

talking about Zade because he's

literally out here like, "I clean up the

streets of these PDF file trash." And

then he infantilizes and sexualizes

Adeline the entire time and victimizes

her various times in the book, multiple

times. Their first encounter he ars her

with a loaded weapon. You're not ridding

the world of trash, you are trash. Oh,

just because you've decided in your own

warped brain that your mission is valid

and and noble and that you're doing a

service to something. You're insane also

and you claim to care about all of these

victims. Zay did this too in a different

way, but she's like, "I want justice for

these women that they hurt." And then

you just do the same thing back to them

and make this about your sexual

pleasure. You're getting off before you

kill them. You come first. That's a good

pun. That's a good pun. Write that down.

Write that down. WRITE THAT DOWN. And

then Zay did it with like, "Oh, will you

be my daddy?" when he rescues these kids

from [ __ ] and he's like, "Sure." And

then he adopts one of them. If you

cared, this is not a role you should be

filling. Nothing I I it's just it's so

grimy and it makes me feel so

uncomfortable and it also invalidates

the entire thing. I just can't get on

board with this stuff. And again, this

is my own fault. I texted my friend Jen

about this and she was like, "God, if

only there were something that could

have told you." A sign or a signal that

went off to let you know that this book

was going to be not [ __ ] And I was

like, "Yeah, you know, you'd think that

mommy's piss flaps would have told me,

but no, I'm stupid. I'm a dumb bitch."

Okay, so [sighs]

why is it

I it didn't export all of my stuff. It

stopped at a certain point. Where Why

did it stop? Okay, so I do have more

notes. Oh, the other guy, there was two,

remember? She she had a live one and

then like SA'd him and of course like

put her [ __ ] thing in his face and

she goes, "You like this, don't you? You

like seeing mommy's bleeding hunt

hovering over your face, huh?" He

doesn't respond. Yeah, cuz there isn't

um a response for that. Red Wings or

whatever it used to be called when I was

a kid. She's like, "Oh, I've got my Red

Wings." which means you've gone downtown

during a blood moon. But uh yeah, so

then again, this is this is God, this

goes back to what I was saying about

centering yourself in all of this stuff

and claiming that you care, but you

really don't. This is about you. You've

made this about you. How can I make

someone else's essay about me? She gets

her people to like hold him down, and

then she thinks to herself mentally to

the six women he arted and assaulted,

"This is for you, girls." I don't think

they want this. I don't want this. She's

having a good time saying that she's

using his nose to stimulate as I coat

his mouth with the metallic shed of my

uterus. The other folks show up. They do

some stuff. They're like, "Did you just

cut his D off and F him with it?" And

she's like, "Yep."

Pops the P more ways than one. And then,

um here. I let the others decide where

they want to be, and they take charge.

Rita takes a seat on Icy's face, and

Kaylum lowers himself to his knees

before me. He draws a long gentle roll

of his tongue over the base of Icy's

shaft, then up my and spits the

collection of blood onto Pat's dead

crimson body beside us before returning

to me. So, they're all having next to

the dead body. She's like, "We want to

go hunting some more." And who says it?

Jordan says with a grin, "By hunt, if

you mean we all get to like that again

and kill, then yeah. Let's make it a

night to remember, then." I challenge.

The end. Dot dot dot. For now. It better

be forever. Don't come back at me with

this. I don't want any more. I've had

enough. This sucked. But, you know what?

Let me calm down. Let me gather my wits

about me, and we'll properly sum this up

if I can even. I'm going to try. What

have we learned? Nothing we didn't

already know, right? This dark romance

horror novel exists simply to hit you

with things that are shocking for

shock's sake and trauma for trauma's

sake just to kind of scandalize the

reader and make it seem interesting when

it's actually not. That's something that

I don't think people talk about enough.

It's like just because it's insane,

off-the-wall, bonkers, and grotesque

does not make it interesting, doesn't

make it good. Might it be like a

an experience reading-wise that you

remember for a while? May it stay with

you longer than it intended to? So then

you think it like tricks you into

thinking, like, I haven't been able to

stop thinking about this book since I

read it. That doesn't mean that it was

good. It doesn't even mean that it was

worth your time. And all of that to say,

it's sad that as a genre, there's so

many titles that come up to the front

with just this shock value stuff that

that goes nowhere. And I can't say that

I haven't fallen victim to it because a

title like suck mommy's piss flaps was

going to get me to pay attention. I'm

sitting up, I'm locked in, I'm ready to

hear it. What are you talking about? But

the thing is is that people are cranking

these books out and there's nothing to

them, only the things that we've already

talked about, which is like centering

yourself in survivors' journeys with SA

and R, making yourself into a predator,

or being a predator while serving

justice cold, Uno reversing, and ridding

the world of predators. Well, you should

take yourself out then because you're

also one. I don't like this idea. And

like anti-hero, sure, but not really

even because I don't like you. I'm not

rooting for you. I don't find you

appealing. I never found you funny. I

never found you smart. None of that. I

didn't like the writing style. It was

choppy. It was blunt. It was very in

your face and try hard. And for what?

Trying hard for what? This was never

going to be a good book. And I knew that

it wasn't, okay? I knew that we would

end up here together doing this, which

in turn is the silver lining for me

reading this kind of slop. I hated this.

I did not like the writing. I did not

like the characters at all. The craft

perspective, like looking at it from a

craft perspective, I kind of didn't

expect anything good. It was just a bad

book. And we knew it was going to be.

Like I said, I knew I'd end up here with

you. And and hopefully having a pretty

okay, maybe some kind of good time with

it. But to be fair, there wasn't really

much to work with here. It was just

nonsense after nonsense that was meant

to upset me, but I This is not my first

rodeo. This is not even my second,

third, or 14th rodeo. I've been at the

rodeo way too long. Way too long. Almost

bored at this point because you're

giving me nothing else. Anybody can sit

down and think of horrific, violent acts

to shove into a book with no plot and

make it sexual and then hit publish.

Anybody can do it, okay? And I really

mean that. I really do think that

anybody can do that. With the level of

craft that I saw here, with the typos

and the misspeakings, and the the

complete lack of anything, there's

nothing going on here. The characters

are dumb. They are try-hard in your face

constantly, and they're giving you

nothing while doing way too much at the

same time, which is a skill that should

be studied. Anybody can do this. This,

anybody can do this. Not everybody can

write a book. Not Not everybody can like

string together a cohesive story and get

it to the publishing part of things and

and put it out into the world. Not

everybody can do that. It is a hard

thing to do. But, this, anybody can do

this. I can do this. I should do this.

Oh my god.

Wow.

Actually, I have done this. I decided

that if I was going to say that anybody

could do this, if I was going to make

that bold of a claim, I needed to put my

money where my mouth is. And so, that's

what I'm doing. If you go over to my

Bindery or my Patreon and you sign up,

you can sign up for free, and you'll get

access to this. But, it really helps me

and the channel out if you join and like

throw a couple bucks my way since this

is my actual job. Lets me keep doing fun

things like this on the side because

these videos take a lot of time. I have

written a dark romance, and I would love

it if you would read it because I um in

the time that it took for me to read

this, film this, edit this, and put this

out. Now that you're seeing it, I wrote

one, too. Because if I'm going to say

something so bold as anybody can write

something like this, why would I not

prove it? I'm not going to say something

and not mean it, and I'm not going to

say something that I can't prove or back

up, okay? So, if you go over to my

bindery, if you go over to my Patreon,

you will get access to my dark horror

romance. Haven't come up with a title

yet at the time of filming this, but if

I do have a cover for it, it'll be here.

And I hope you have fun. I hope you

really enjoy it, and you tell me. You

tell me if there's a difference between

what I wrote and this [ __ ] You tell me,

okay? Because I said anybody can write

something like this, and I meant it. I

meant that [ __ ] And I really don't have

much else to say about this. There

really wasn't much. Like, with a title

like that, I could have at least I

really did like with a title like that,

I will say one of the worst parts of

this is the disappointment because I

thought it would at least be funny. Now,

I didn't read the synopsis before I read

the book because if you keep saying,

"This is a funny book. This is a

humorous feminist female rage book." The

more you say it, the less I believe you.

So, I just went in with like no

expectations whatsoever except for the

fact that there is an off-the-wall crazy

kooky bananas title on the cover of this

book. So, at the very least, I thought I

would have fun. I thought it would be

funny, and it wasn't, and I didn't. But,

I hope that you did. I hope that this

was a good time for you, and I hope that

I filled up at least a little chunk of

your day. I have some more videos that

are in the works. I've read a bunch of

things this year that I want to review,

but I also am going to put up a poll

this week for you to tell me which video

you'd like to see from me first. So, if

you go over to the community tab, you

can vote and let me know. Also, again,

it really does help me out if you join

my bindery or my Patreon. Even if you

just join as a free member, it's a

signal to me like, "Hey, buddy. I really

like what you're doing, and I want to

sign up over here so that I don't miss

anything." That means a lot to me. It's

free, doesn't cost anything, and it

makes me happy. But, if you're looking

for a way to support me in a non-free

way, I highly recommend checking out my

channel membership or my bindery or my

Patreon. The channel membership is the

cheapest option because I know times are

tough, and I want to be able to give you

guys things, and also like do my job.

And so, you know, I kind of have the

YouTube channel membership set up to

where you get early access to rent

reviews such as these, and it's also

ad-free and uncensored. Like it's not

cut down as much. So, that's kind of an

incentive to go over there and join. I

think it's $2.99. I love my job. I love

being able to do this, and I don't want

to get all personal on your ass. I'm not

going to cry. I'm not going to cry in a

video reviewing suck mommy's piss flaps,

okay? I'm not going to do that. But I am

going to tell you, just get a little

real with you, serious cap or whatever.

I've been having a really hard time. It

means a lot to me that you're here, just

in general, and I really do cherish that

honor and privilege that you are here

watching me do this for you, so you

don't have to put yourself through these

things. Now, you can if you want to.

It's none of my business. But, I went

ahead and did it for you anyway, cuz I

love you, and I want to take care of

you. If you liked this video, please

like it, and leave a comment below just

telling me I really appreciate it. Helps

me out. Helps the channel out. Helps the

algorithm and all that stuff. Please,

consider subscribing to the channel if

you're not already, so you don't miss

any other things that I have up my

sleeve. I am working on a couple of

reviews. I said that I'm going to be

voting on what comes out first, so

that's over in the community tab if you

want to go check that out. I am having

trouble closing this out. I'm so bad at

outros. I do not like doing this, but so

I'm just going to go. I love you. You

don't have to say it back. I will see

you in the next one, and I hope March is

being good to you. Bye.