Peanut's Real Talk - Best Out of Pocket Interactions

Why are you out of breath from just

talking? I was up all night gawking.

Your dad's cocking balls. My throat

muscles are sore. My apologies, sir. My

apologies. I'll give you a heads up next

time in the Discord. [music]

[music]

Why bot stream? Just easier.

The real people always just make fun of

me, call me fat.

I'm bad at the game. The robots though,

I can program them to be nice. They'll

say nice things about me. They'll say

nice things. They'll say They'll say,

"Peter, you're so sexy. Peter, you Wow,

have you gotten thinner for the last

time I've seen you've got me hit the

gym." That's why. That's why. A lot

easier. Lot easier on the mental. Mhm.

Sure enough, did they offer you another

streamer item to play Tav up again?

[snorts]

[ __ ] yeah. [ __ ] yeah, they did. They're

giving me the pea textured butt plug.

Next week. Next week. Coming on.

>> Who sells it?

>> You don't tell anybody. I'm under strict

NDA. Hey, brother. I appreciate how

positive you are with the content you

create and support the military. I am

currently serving in the Space Force.

And

All right, Michael Scott. Listen up,

buddy. I know the Space Force isn't

real. I know that's a TV show, pal.

You're not fooling anyone

and getting ready to have my first kid

next month. Oh, content.

Content change.

I've been serving for a year so far. The

Space Force isn't real. USA. USA. My

man's love. Hey. Yeah. Yeah. It is real

space force REAL, GUYS. NO, IT'S NOT.

IT'S a TV show. There is nothing.

There's NASA. There's nothing called the

Space Force. There's nothing called the

base voice

is what I would say.

I was if guys, do you really think I was

being serious right there? THAT WAS A

TEST. THAT WAS obviously a test. Do I

look like some type of buffoon to you?

That was obviously a test, gentlemen.

You have passed THE TEST.

CONGRATULATIONS.

CONGRATULATIONS. You've passed the test.

Space Force is real. I cannot believe

you guys are so uninformed, [snorts]

guys. Get in the know. Get in the know.

Get dialed in like I am. Get dialed in

like I am. Get in the know. Get in the

know. Get dialed in. Get dialed in. Get

tuned in. Tune in. Tune in. Start

talking like MJ [music] offream to save

your voice.

talking like MJ.

Wait, how's MJ talk?

Wait, he doesn't talk. He's dead.

I'll have to check some sources on that.

I got to confirm.

On behalf of the Navy, the Space [music]

Force is doodoo.

All right, listen up, Seaman.

Space Force sounds cool as [ __ ] All

right. [music]

Don't you insult my Space Force, Sean.

Don't you Don't you insult my cool space

force that I just found out about 5

minutes ago. That sounds cool as [ __ ]

I just want to say [ __ ] you, burn in

hell. I hope Satan spreads Nutella on

your cheeks.

Me

me.

How hasn't he noticed his pathway?

has blue clues everywhere. Oh my god.

Hey crispy cush 420, you mind doing

something for me? Yeah. [laughter]

This is a favor. [screaming] Hey crispy

cush 420, you mind doing so for me? This

is a favor. YOU MIND [ __ ] YOURSELF?

I'M WORKING ON IT. OKAY, I'm doing

pretty good if I do say so myself. [ __ ]

you. [ __ ] you, Peanut. What kind of kind

of FIRST TIME CHAT IS THAT? WATCH and

learn. Funny. Said the same thing to

your mom last night while she was

sitting in the wooden chair in the

corner while I was [ __ ] your dad to

Shakespeare's Moonlight Sonata. H

interesting. What a small world.

Coincidence. Been a while since I've

been on the stream. How did you manage

to get even fatter?

That [ __ ]

THAT [screaming] [ __ ] RIGHT

HERE.

The action time of a goldfish.

All right.

All right. That's very rude to say.

That's very rude to say. And if your

plan was to hurt me, congratulations.

You've hurt me deeply. Your hat is

stupid.

[ __ ] [ __ ] you guy.

My hat is cool. What the What the hell

are you talking about? What the hell are

you saying?

He said [ __ ]

That's [ __ ] cool. What is [ __ ] Is

this fun? Is this fun? You know how much

of a [ __ ] you sound like right now?

Lock in, boys. Lock it in.

Actually, hold up. Unless that was a

genuine question, guys. I'm so used to

people being [ __ ] I'm so sorry,

sir, if that was a genuine question. If

you're like, "Oh, I wonder if this game

is fun." Then you go, "Is this fun?"

Sir, I'm so used to be people being

actual [ __ ] I'm so sorry if that

was just a regular question. Oh my god.

If you were just, "Oh my god, is this

game fun?" I'm so sorry. Yes. It's a fun

game. It's a fun game. It's a fun game.

What's the score? You can see the score.

All right. Six to out of no space

[laughter]

or or

>> die. Do employed people play this game?

No. Good question. Good question. Let me

know if you have any other questions.

Uh,

are you a peanut? Yes. Good question.

Another great question. Another great

question. Many great questions tonight.

Many great questions tonight.

>> Some questions are answered. Some

questions are better left unanswered.

And some questions are never answered.

Welcome to

unanswered questions.

>> Wait, what if you eating somebody's butt

that they just they bleach it and you

die? Is that not a thing? You guys

getting You guys getting 40 pieces of

McNuggets? Oh, this is that guy we

killed earlier, I think.

Isn't it

judge?

Hey Timmy, you ever done uh you ever uh

you you do uh you ever you at all? You

do aderall.

[laughter]

There we go. All right. I've got 20 of

them.

You got your 20.

Okay.

OH, NO WAY. NO WAY. H DID YOU SEE THAT?

YEAH, THAT WAS REALLY COOL. PEANUT. Oh

my god. Thanks, dude.

>> Gives you a blueprint of this mat that

you can throw on the ground that's as

big as my penis, and you have to try and

land on it whenever you jump off of a

building.

>> Wait, so there's no

>> How big is your penis?

>> There's no like matriarch or queen or

like something. Hey Trey, how's it going

over there? Please tell me your download

has stopped and your computer has

crashed.

Blackout is legit when you get used to

it. Are you sure that game is bad, Mr.

Gloy, or is it just bad cuz everybody

says it's bad? Like, is it is it like is

it like where everybody gets together

and just says it's bad cuz they don't

like Call of Duty, or is it actually

bad?

Well, hexagon is just kind of like Fall

Guys with his hex fall. Should we skip

the light speed halo?

Let's skip the highlight. Let's Let's

skip the light speed halo. [gasps]

Good. Good decision team. Good decision

team. Good decision. Let's skip the

light sweet halo. [laughter]

Guys, where's our team spirit?

Can I get a T? Can I get an A? Can I get

an A? M. Go team.

All right. [ __ ] all of you. Actually, I

was actually just thinking I was

thinking when you win your next fight,

you could use the proceeds to buy a

microphone that doesn't sound like I'm

ordering a Wendy's four for four. What

do you think?

No.

[laughter]

Hello.

Nice wig. No, this is real. This is

real.

The fly is

drippy as [ __ ] You tell about John.

John, tell me I'm drippy. Tell me I'm

drippy right now.

John,

he knows I'm drippy. He's just shy. He's

just shy. He knows I'm drippy.

You sure you don't want to come?

Bows.

Bows. Melon.

Yeah,

>> you have the torches.

>> Excellent. All right, I'm The recycle

mission is almost done. 3,000 cloth will

be going into the tool cupboard post

haste.

>> Wish I got off work to beat off to you.

My man,

my man. My man. My man. My man. My man.

My man.

Living like Larry. Living like Larry.

Living like Larry.

Living like Larry.

Who's that with the cool beanie? Thank

you, Sher. Thank you. Thank you. This is

Louis Baton. All right, buddy. This is

$5,000

Louis Baton. It's made of camel hair.

It's made of camel hair and and and

beaver farts right here. Right here,

pal.

I got my Louis Vuitton on. Is that a

steering wheel in your pants? You are

driving me nuts.

Die immediately. My sperm count has

tripled since I started watching your

streams. No joke.

Just a little something I offer here.

Just a little service I offer here at

the Buggy Leader Nation. You're welcome,

Shar. You are welcome, Shar. You are

welcome. I'm 333

days sober today. And part of that is

been learning to enjoy things again. You

make me laugh and make the days easier.

Thanks, big dog. I stopped cranking my

hog at work to type this.

CHEERS TO THAT, BOYS. [screaming]

CHEERS TO THAT WITH SODA.

Soda pop.

Maybe water. And maybe water as well.

Maybe maybe a cold glass of water. Ice.

My husband loves you.

Are you kidding me?

Have him find someone else who could do

that thing with my pinky that I do.

And I leave my phone number on the

nightstand. Big man. He's calling back.

He's calling back. I just had to turn

off the stream because my boyfriend had

his gallbladder removed last night. You

make him laugh too much. She's in

extreme pain. [laughter]

What the hell?

Tell him God speed for me, Haley. Tell

him God speed for me. Get well soon. Get

your gallbladder

put back in or whatever you do after

that.

I dropped SOME ACCIDENTALLY.

>> OH, [ __ ] YOU JUST DRAGGED ME. YOU

BASTARD. WAIT, WAIT, PLEASE.

>> [music]

>> HAVE A MEAL. YEAH, WE'RE GOING TO THE

CHILI, YOU [ __ ]

IT HAS AMBIENCE AND [screaming] GOOD

APPETIZERS FOR A REASONABLE PRICE. IT

IS. OH. OH MY GOD. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO.

NO. NO.

[ __ ]

SURE. WAIT. Hold on, SIR. HOLD ON NOW,

SIR. If you kill me, you'll get a go to

hell.

OH, SURE. WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, SIR.

WAIT, WAIT. BEFORE YOU DO THAT, LISTEN

TO ME. LISTEN TO ME really quickly.

Listen to me. LISTEN TO ME VERY QUICKLY.

WAIT, SIR. WAIT, WAIT,

NO, [screaming]

NO.

>> I'LL GET THE TRADE. I'll get THE TRADE.

>> THAT ROCK, [ __ ]

>> OH MY GOD. [screaming]

WHAT?

>> NO. [screaming]

It's what?

Oh no.

Be super HIT WITH YOU.

DUDE, WHAT?

>> I'M [ __ ] DEAD. OH MY GOD. PLEASE GOD,

HELP ME. PLEASE, GOD. NO. NO. NO. NO.

>> NO. [screaming]

WHAT? WHAT?

WHAT? [screaming]

NO. NO. [screaming] NO.

I got him.

>> WHAT? [screaming]

>> YEAH. What did they say?

>> What? What? [screaming]

>> What? WHAT? WHAT? THERE'S TWO. There's

two. THERE SHE NO. [screaming] NO.

NO.

>> I don't have anything that

>> I don't give a [ __ ] IF THEY'RE SLE WITH

YOUR [ __ ] HUTS. WE'RE GOING IN.

NO,

NO, [screaming]

NO, NO, NO. I'M DEAD. OH MY GOD. [ __ ] I

[screaming]

[ __ ]

WHAT WHAT WHAT

[screaming]

I mean? It's just a game. Nothing to get

upset over. It's just a game, guys. Just

a game. Nothing to get upset over.

You can anal so bond for heat cyst

boughs.

Guys, PLEASE DON'T PUT YOUR ENTIRE

sentence with no spaces in between each

word, but instead rather spaces in

between each letter. I couldn't even

read that. I tried my hardest. Peanut is

a pistachio in a peanut costume. All

right, we've got racist tonight. We got

racist on a Monday. Who would have

thought? Racists on a Monday. My wife

LOVES YOU AND I LOVE YOUR WIFE.

[screaming]

Scumbags without the S.

Scumbag.

Comes. Oh. Oh, comes. Ah,

>> where too?

>> I was confused. I was confused there for

a second. [ __ ] 00 asked me, "Hey peanut,

how about you go ahead and scum softly

chew on my nuts?"

More like I'm going to go smoy scream my

delight after I after that spicy

proposition.

>> I I have I have no idea what the frog is

talking about.

>> This is what dinosaurs went through.

I

I don't know if dinosaurs went through

stream sniping. I don't know if that's

[laughter]

I can't explain to you my you to my

friends I sound insane when I try.

I just tell him it's like a fetish

thing.

JUST TELL THEM IT'S A FETISH THING, MR.

BERG. Just that that that'll be easier.

Thank you, good chair. Thank you, good

J. Thank you, good

man. Pet, I am literally at the grocery

store and I opened the stream

accidentally not connected to my

headphones and the first thing you said

on max volume was, "Oh, I got some

fentinol and bombs."

>> Perfect.

>> Hell yeah.

>> Perfect. [gasps] I got to hit up that

grocery store. They got it all. They got

it all. What don't they have? Let us see

the genitals, please. No,

they're private and it's cold outside.

I'm a little dirt. My wife said, "If you

read this and say yes, I can use Peanut

as the middle name in a month when she

gives birth."

>> No way.

Hell yeah.

>> That's the greatest middle name ever.

Absolutely good, sir. Absolutely.

Godspeed.

Love you. Thanks for all the

entertainment. Thank you for the hell

out of it, Bob.

What was your nickname tripod? Uh,

he used to always make fun of me back in

school. Tripod, horsecock, third leg,

meat rod, polo stick, you name it. You

name it. I was kind of an outcast. I was

kind of an outcast. And they they were

relentless. They were relentless.

Meatloaf,

Subway, Footlog. Uh, it was I mean it

was brutal. It was brutal. But what's

most important is blocking them out and

not letting the mean words get to you.

Mr.

I have some bad news. I'm from

Australia. They've banned Pornhub/all

porn sites. I think it's time for some

gooning time for us Aussies from down

under. Please help send us some porn.

Don't you worry, good sir. Don't you

worry. I'm on the case. Don't you worry,

BIG MAN. DON'T YOU WORRY. BEHOLD.

BEHOLD.

Screenshot it. You can use it for later,

chief.

Screenshot, Mr. Diggs. You can use it

for later.

I tried to revive you after killing you

earlier today and I was struggling to

fight the ticks. You made my week.

Hey, Chief. This is my first game on

today.

But I'm glad you had fun, Chief. I'm

glad you had fun with whoever that was.

I'm glad you did. I'm glad you had a

great deal of fun with whoever that man

was.

My wife tried to turn your stream off,

so she got kicked out of bed. Now you

have to keep me company.

Okay, Edgar,

I can do that for you.

Edgar 58. I can do that for you.

Did anyone shove a dildo up my astro?

That is on you. Good sir. That is on

you. Good sir. That's a journey every

man has to take. [clears throat] I was

fisted by my buddy Rick last night. Good

work. Good work. Conurgentation.

Congratulations, sir.

Peta, [music] I'm getting married

tomorrow. A curgent.

Oh, you make sure the day before your

wedding today, you go to a bunch of

strip clubs and get as close as you can

to cheating without actually cheating to

show your wife how committed you really

are.

It's the meta. It's the meta.

[music]