0:00
Just tried sushi for the first time. I
0:02
feel spiritually Japanese.
0:16
>> You are not Japanese, bro.
0:18
>> Dude only ate one piece of sushi.
0:20
>> Bro touched the definite once.
0:22
>> Bro watched one episode and sub.
0:24
>> Bro watched one time.
0:27
>> Bro Jujutsu Kaisen one time.
0:30
>> Bro gooned to Yaoi once.
0:33
>> How human should you stairs? Toes?
0:49
>> Running on fours at the shopping mall
0:50
seems like a good idea.
0:53
Bro got to work need money to make bail.
0:56
>> We'll try it tomorrow at the office.
0:57
>> Imagine seeing this at night near your
1:01
>> We are all walking like this from now
1:03
>> Hell no, man. What up?
1:04
>> Dudes get muscular and just do whatever.
1:33
>> Shh, the movie is starting. Uh, intro.
1:36
>> Intro 60%. [music]
1:37
Fart fart 10%. Outro 30%.
1:42
>> Just play the fart, bro.
1:44
>> Bro got a whole studio behind TS.
1:47
>> The audacity to ask for a like and
1:51
>> As far as I would as you like, you
1:52
cannot beat me. If you're running me on,
1:55
I'll put a bullet in your head.
1:57
That's why you can't reach you. I'll use
2:07
>> Val players keep raising the bar for
2:08
cornballs. It's actually impressive.
2:12
>> Ninja's be [music] iron and be talking
2:15
>> Don't listen to the haters, bro.
2:17
You are exactly as tough as you think
2:22
>> Advice for straight people that people
2:40
>> Bro, can you turn down the background
2:41
music and not speak so loud?
2:45
>> The third point is by far the most
2:48
>> That's excellent advice. Appreciate your
2:52
>> I think it was extra silent for me,
3:03
>> People in prison wondering why the fresh
3:04
supply has been tampered with.
3:07
>> Yeah, go ahead. Give me your name and
3:10
I'm calling the cops.
3:12
>> This makes me want to run.
3:33
>> I THINK YOU GOT THE ICE CREAM, BRO.
3:35
>> ME ordering a fresh plate of ceaseless
3:38
>> He wanted that ice cream so bad.
3:40
>> Getting brutally tortured over an ice
3:42
cream. Bro did it for the love of the
4:05
>> Last thing you see before you get slimed
4:08
>> What an atrocious fit.
4:11
>> Why is he not high today at the AS bar?
4:13
>> Store just opened, bro.
4:16
>> Stop. Why does nobody care?
4:38
Spider-Man, time to go home.
4:40
>> The machine don't want none of it.
4:43
>> Someone said, "Spider-Man, please go
4:46
>> Spider-Man, leave us alone.
4:48
>> With no power comes no responsibility.
4:51
>> Bro thinks he's Tobey Maguire.
4:54
>> I'm crying. Why is nobody reacting?
4:57
>> So, what do you think it's [music]
5:01
>> I'll give you 500 bucks for it.
5:03
>> Man, my thing is I take all the risk,
5:07
>> Type of lowballing I'd be doing on
5:08
Facebook Marketplace. [music]
5:10
I bet gang will offer a pack of juicy
5:12
gum and a sand dollar for unused Rick
5:15
Rick putting everything on the line.
5:17
>> He a risk taker, bro. 500 is generous.
5:20
>> I should have did 500 quicker.
5:25
>> Yesterday, I got hit with the line,
5:27
"History is written by the victor."
5:30
Who the [ __ ] is Victor?
5:33
Victor, you actually did this? You wrote
5:36
Someone explain this.
5:37
>> Victor is going to pay for it.
5:39
>> So, what if I did?
5:41
You ain't his pal, it's the Victor to
5:47
>> On everyone's soul. I'm going to get a
5:50
girlfriend this year. On everyone's
5:54
If I go down, you guys are coming down
5:56
with me. If I fumble, you guys are
5:58
>> Got my death sentence while scrolling.
6:02
>> We don't accept TS.
6:04
>> What did we even do, bro?
6:07
>> It's been a good run.
6:08
>> Nice knowing y'all.
6:11
>> And there's one over here. Looks like
6:13
it's holding some water.
6:25
>> I think it's time to go.
6:28
>> I think it's time to go.
6:29
>> Bro says that like he's leaving a
6:32
>> Better scramble like an egg before you
6:34
get folded like an omelette, little bro.
6:37
>> The sheer breath capacity in that scream
6:39
is enough to incentivize me to activate
6:41
bipedal locomotion at my fullest
6:43
>> What in the hell, bro?
6:44
>> Green eggs and scram.
6:47
>> January, February, March.
6:50
>> Just run, bro nacho.
6:52
>> Can I speak your language?
6:58
>> No, but like, do you know any other
7:13
>> Bro gave himself a DIY test.
7:16
>> Bro is about to pick at his brain.
7:20
>> Bro is lobotomizing himself.
7:23
>> Bro is looking for the One Piece.
7:25
>> The entire finger, bro.
7:27
>> Name three countries that start with the
7:38
>> Can't get any greener, bro.
7:58
>> What is Unc escaping from?
8:00
>> Running from the doctor before the
8:04
Escape the nursing home hobby.
8:05
>> Unc is infiltrating his retirement home.
8:14
>> Oh, hell no, man. What the [ __ ] man?
8:17
Get your ass home, boy.
8:19
>> Bro really said, "If I had superpowers,
8:23
you don't need a portal for that, gang."
8:26
>> This was fun in real time, by the way.
8:28
Is Ninja never going to college?
8:31
>> Just goo normally, gang.
8:42
>> Every laugh that came out, he threw up a
8:46
>> Bro laughs like he's Blackbeard.
8:47
>> Blood laughing like a grown-up baby.
8:51
>> I have got to hear this joke, bro, cuz
8:54
>> His laugh is terrifying.
8:57
>> WHENEVER I NEED A GOOD LAUGH, I like to
8:59
pretend I'm having a tickling fight with
9:11
>> Did you just smack your all, bro?
9:16
>> I'll be happy to tickle you.
9:18
>> We all live in the same life, huh?
9:22
>> You're never supposed to ask a woman her
9:25
>> So, have we considered that Epstein was
9:28
maybe just really polite?
9:30
>> That is like on the edge of being a joke
9:34
>> Hilarious. Now, check this guy's hard
9:37
>> Right message, wrong messenger.
9:39
>> If we check that list, we ain't going to
9:43
>> It turns out when they ask you, "Tell us
9:46
a bit about yourself." in the job
9:48
interview, you should not tell them you
9:52
>> If they react negatively, then that
9:53
company ain't for you, king.
9:55
>> Tom Pearl approved.
9:59
>> Stick to gooning, twin.
10:01
>> Got to show them, not tell.
10:05
>> Chad, look. I'm going to blow this
10:06
candle out. After I blow it out, I'm
10:07
going to make the flame reappear all
10:09
with mechanical energy. 3 2 1.
10:14
>> Let me tell you why, though. Let me tell
10:15
you why. The mechanical energy from the
10:17
lighter all transverse into oxygen fluid
10:21
verification. And the air chemicals
10:24
travel through heat waves, which make it
10:26
metamorphosis, which make
10:28
>> Tia, you mean metamorphosis. [music]
10:31
>> Oxygen fluid verification? Nah, bro lost
10:34
>> Bro, making up new words.
10:36
>> Bro unlocked quantum level BS.
10:39
>> Metamorphic chemical transversions.
10:40
>> No, what the hell is
10:41
>> How can NASA miss out on this?
10:44
>> One log is all you need.
10:45
>> I see a village over there.
10:46
>> Go to the village right now. That's the
10:48
new meta. Steal everything you see,
10:49
especially the beds.
10:50
>> Okay. What should I do when I get to the
10:51
village? I have one log on me.
10:53
>> Kill all the villagers. That's the
10:54
fastest way to get emeralds without
10:55
trading. Just punch them until they drop
10:57
>> Wait, I have to kill all the villagers
10:59
>> Tools make too much noise and attract
11:00
iron golems. Just punch them until they
11:02
die. It's faster than nothing.
11:03
>> He didn't drop anything.
11:04
>> That's normal. Villagers only drop
11:06
emeralds after the third punch.
11:08
>> Has he ever said anything correct?
11:11
>> Bro's just lying.
11:13
>> The AI is scraping off Reddit, and a lot
11:15
of people have posted misinformation to
11:18
>> Artificial unintelligence.
11:21
>> That is the new meta.
11:22
>> Dude, why is there no AI summaries for
11:24
TikToks and Instagram Reels? Like,
11:26
nobody wants to sit through like a
11:27
15-second [music] TikTok Reel.
11:29
Like, it would just be like so much
11:31
easier if they had like a AI summary
11:33
button and we could just like
11:36
get all the information on the Tik Tok
11:38
[music] or reel without having to like
11:40
like actually watch it.
11:42
>> You're genuinely like cooked, bro.
11:46
>> CIA celebrating right now.
11:48
>> I didn't understand your video. I need
11:52
They actually listen to bro.
11:53
>> Dude, why is there no AI summaries for
