We fixed Escape From Tarkov...sort of

Oh, my God.

>> [music]

>> Wait, did they just

They just patched what you guys just

did. They just patched it.

They just patched it. They just patched

it right now. Just hear me out.

>> [music]

>> All right. All right. All right. Pretty

good job. Pretty good job. We

We do a pretty good job so far.

We'll go TO ICEBREAKER IN NO TIME. I I

think I'm in the best phase right now of

Tarkov. It's like the beginning phase,

you know? Yeah, the first 5,000 hours

are always a bunch of fun. Apparently

90,000 hours is only 10,000 years. No.

Universe has been alive longer.

And still Coco has not one [ __ ] Not

one [ __ ] in 10,000 years. That'll

happen. That'll happen. If we're talking

poopa count, all right, we're maxing out

right here this Discord call.

Just with the two of you.

[ __ ] count?

In terms of [ __ ]

There are no [ __ ]

If we're talking limb count, we're

already down two arms and two legs with

you.

If we're talking chromosome count, we're

down two about two of those with you

with the velocity.

All right. Okay. Quest done. Coco and

Diggy we get the last question and we go

to icebreaker, kill Mr. Wedgie, and we

we win the day. Before Coco and unmutes,

listen. There's a ton of loot on that

boat. All right. There's a ton of loot.

Enough for three people like us.

But there's even more loot

for two people.

THIS THIS IS THE ONE RIGHT HERE. THIS IS

IT. THIS IS WHERE WE TAKE IT ALL BACK.

COCO'S NOT GOING TO DIE. Diggy's not

going to forget HER [ __ ] MONEY.

WE'RE GOING TO GO IN there and we're

going to win. Lock in right now. Coco, I

swear to God, if I see a smile on your

face for even a second, I'm going to

shoot it off.

>> Take it for granted, buddy.

Looking good. Looking good.

I'll let you share with you. We got to

move the dogs. Go go go go go go go.

Come on, BOYS. COME ON, BOYS.

DO YOU HAVE THE HILL OVER TIME?

HILL CLEAR. HILL CLEAR.

>> Probably

start it.

Coco doesn't have that much stamina, so

we have to be mindful of that.

>> I started I started.

Do you have the smoke?

I have the smoke, boys. I have the

smoke, boys. Oh, I need that smoke fell

off the the thing.

10 seconds 10 seconds. I have TO DO IT

QUICK.

HE CHANGED IT, BOYS. I HAVE TO DO IT I

HAVE TO DO IT.

5 SECONDS. [laughter] I HAVE TO DO IT

QUICK.

1

OH, YOU BASTARD COCONUT. YOU bastard you

bastard you bastard.

>> Am I in?

>> Yes, you may. Wait wait wait wait wait

wait wait wait. You bastard you bastard

you bastard you bastard you bastard you

bastard.

>> Fine, we're good. We're good.

>> We're good. We're good. We're good.

We're good. We're good. We're good.

We're good.

This is for real, boys. This is the This

is the big time. This is for real, guys.

If I lose this, I'm so poor and I know

coconut doesn't want it.

I'm poor. Who are both going to score?

>> Wait, can I have the extra bag?

>> Yeah yeah I got you. Here you go.

>> Please.

Thank you.

>> Guys, wait wait. Can you take this one I

take that one?

>> Yep.

>> He's mine. Oh, you thief you thief.

Oh.

Oh, I thought I was glitched. Wait, I am

glitched. Oh my god, Ginji.

Wait, oh no I'm not. Oh, come on. Oh.

>> Oh.

>> Psych, never mind.

I PROBABLY CAN'T FOLLOW YOU, BOY.

DON'T DO IT. DON'T DO

>> STILL.

>> I stand still. Don't do it. Don't do it.

I see what I see what's on.

Oh my god, it's dying. It's dying.

>> I killed him.

>> Oh my god.

Oh [ __ ]

Oh [ __ ]

>> goodness.

>> I'm infiltrating enemy territory.

Hold on to the right is clear.

He's right here on the left side.

Oh, he's dead.

>> Got you.

I'm coming inside you.

>> Okay. Okay.

I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm

ready. I'm ready.

>> I'm inside.

>> Oh.

>> I came.

>> Oh.

>> No, he's dead. Is it you, GG run?

>> Yeah, it's me.

Right here.

>> GG.

I'm moving to the next spot.

>> better um alive, though.

>> Hold on.

Watch the door behind us.

Is there one in that room, Peanut?

That's GG there. I'm in I'm in the

hallway.

>> Okay.

Where is GG?

>> I'm looking.

>> I'm looking.

>> Oh my gosh.

>> You dead?

>> Hey, you didn't know?

>> Need some ammo.

>> Me. don't shoot me.

>> Oh, just jog it right over there.

>> She's safe. She's safe.

>> Oh my gosh.

>> You winning, China?

>> Yes. I need to put my arm back on,

though.

>> John, take it from here. I'll take it

from here.

She's safe. She's safe.

>> But these guys are crazy.

>> Go in.

>> Got you, John.

>> Okay. Okay. All right, let's keep the

spirit high.

HOPE WE DON'T DIE.

PUT THAT on a T-shirt. Put that on a

T-shirt right now.

This shouldn't be coconut.

You say this simulation isn't real

anymore. This is real life.

>> I'm [ __ ] nervous, P.

>> real life, coconut. This ain't a

simulation anymore.

>> My ass is sweaty.

>> I'm clenched. Keep it clenched.

>> MEANS YOU'RE LOCKED IN, SOLDIER.

Lock in.

>> What?

Uh chat, can the key be downstairs?

>> Oh [ __ ]

Get his ass.

>> No, I did not. No, I did not.

Got him.

Oh [ __ ] they're back. They're back.

They're back. THEY'RE BACK. THEY'RE

BACK. THEY'RE BACK.

>> UM

>> I'M OUT OF STAMINA. I'M PACKING MY

MAGAZINE.

YEAH, I'm packing my magazine as well.

I've got an MP 561, by the way.

I got no more good ones.

What's coming? What's coming?

Oh.

I see him. I see this guy. I'm moving

in. I'm moving in.

>> Get him. Get him.

>> Got him. He's dead.

>> Nice.

>> Got you.

>> I'm I'm packing my bags in again.

>> [screaming]

>> Oh.

My gosh, I just killed Peanut.

>> All right, I'm back.

All right, I'm here.

>> Wait, YOU KILLED PEANUT?

>> YEAH. [laughter]

>> NO, NO.

>> [screaming]

>> NO, NO.

>> [laughter]

>> [ __ ] YOU, COCONUT. [ __ ] YOU.

OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD.

>> DAY EVER. THIS IS THE best day ever.

>> NO, IT'S NOT THE BEST DAY

EVER. [screaming]

>> [laughter]

>> LITERALLY DIE. LITERALLY DIE RIGHT NOW.

>> This is the best day ever. This is the

best day

ever.

>> Coconut.

>> Coconut, let me tell you what's going to

happen. You're going to go for another 5

or 10 minutes of jerking in a corner

while Jinji kills people, and then Jinji

is going to miss one guy, just one.

That's all we need, just one. Just

[laughter]

one. Just one guy.

AND HE'S GOING TO COME AROUND WITH A

[ __ ] WOMPER.

>> I'M [ __ ] HAPPY.

>> YOUR ASS TO HEAVEN, YOU [ __ ]

>> Oh god.

Oh, this day can't get any better.

>> I'm depressed.

>> I'm This is the best.

Hey, I'm going to spark a Hey, cheers,

chat.

Hey, cheers, everybody.

>> Do not cheers to that. You know what?

I'm making a cheers. I'm making a

cheers. Cheers

to Coconut is about to die. To Coconut's

potential and inevitable death.

>> Hey, hey. Cheers, everybody.

>> They're choosing me. They're choosing

me, not you. They're choosing me.

>> What? Genji, what?

>> I'm coming back. Hold on.

>> Can we just flare out Genji and get out

of here?

Oh wait, but our rubles our rubles.

>> You owe me 400,000 rubles, you

[ __ ]

>> Is there a dead guy talking right now

cuz I can't I smell like [ __ ] in here.

I can't hear him.

I think there's a dead guy talking.

>> Okay. Okay.

>> Hey, hey, hey, you're breaking the RP,

buddy. You're breaking the RP. You're

dead.

>> to break your [ __ ] wide open.

>> [laughter]

>> You keep talking TO ME LIKE THAT.

>> TAKE THIS.

>> [screaming]

>> OH [ __ ] I'm coming back.

>> I'm just yelling.

>> Genji, I will genuinely buy you

any Pokémon card you want if you empty

your magazine into Coconut right now.

>> do it. Genji, don't [ __ ] do it.

Genji, don't do it.

>> [laughter]

>> I will

I don't care if it's a [ __ ] Mewtwo or

a or a or a

Charizard

dragon.

If you empty your mag

>> [laughter]

>> into Coconut

>> Genji, don't [ __ ] kill me. Genji,

don't [ __ ] kill me. Don't do it, Genji.

>> Wait, I'm just kidding. Those cards

getting too expensive. I'm just kidding.

I'm kidding.

>> Genji, don't [ __ ] do it. Genji,

please.

I'm your karate kid, Genji.

>> I hate this.

>> No, I'm Mr. Miyagi. Now kill karate kid.

>> You [ __ ]

>> [ __ ] you, Coconut.

>> I'm not doing it.

>> Don't [ __ ] [laughter]

Look at that. Look at Hey.

Look at that.

That's a that's a woman of honor right

there, Peanut. Okay? An honor.

>> I'll make you a woman of honor as soon

as I get the next wave with you, pal.

>> Don't [ __ ] kill me.

>> Genji, stop. Let me tell you something.

I'll make you feel like the prettiest

woman in the world.

>> I never killed you. You never killed me.

>> like the prettiest lady in the world.

That's right, coconut.

>> Don't do it.

Peter, are you an ally or not?

>> What? Of what?

>> Of Of stopping Asian hate?

>> Stopping Asian hate, yeah.

>> Of course I'm an ally.

Of course.

>> EXCEPT FOR COCONUT.

>> ARE YOU [ __ ] [laughter] ARE

Are you serious?

>> I'm just kidding, of course.

I don't want a Twitter post of me.

>> Oh, [ __ ] Yeah, you got to be careful

with those.

>> Got to be careful.

>> Got to be real careful.

>> with a neckbeard will make a Reddit post

about me 15 paragraphs long.

>> Oh, it's going to be It's like you could

>> [laughter]

>> It's like you destroyed an entire nation

or something.

>> It's like I may pop the [ __ ] nation.

>> [laughter]

>> You're literally just a peanut playing

games and you've got like 500

chromosomes. Why are they so threatened

>> Okay, I don't The way I had to have the

last fight.

>> the most hated

>> unnecessary.

>> [laughter]

>> the dumbest [ __ ] Why are they

so intimidated BY YOU?

>> ME.

YOU ELIMINATED YOURSELF LAST ROUND,

BUDDY. THAT'S HOW YOU DIED, YOU

[ __ ]

>> IT'S FINE, GUYS. I NEED COMMS, PLEASE.

>> OH, [ __ ]

>> you need, Jiggy? What do you need?

>> hear this guy.

>> I'm coming, captain. I'm coming.

>> Oh, please tell me that was coconut.

>> No.

I'm pretty sure there's one more.

>> JJ.

JJ.

You ain't got no legs, you dead dead

Where are you, JJ?

>> You're down the stairs?

>> Don't come down here. Don't come down

here.

>> Okay, I ain't coming down. I ain't

coming down.

>> Wait, maybe I did kill them all.

>> God, you're really Smite THIS COCONUT

[ __ ] DOWN.

>> [screaming]

>> SMITE HIM DOWN.

>> YOU KNOW, I'M GOING TO PULL UP COCONUT B

H F C W.

JUST to watch him. Get out of here.

>> Just to watch the life fade from

>> Just to watch the

>> life fade from his eyes.

>> Peanut, ban peanuts so he can't watch

us.

>> Just so we can watch the life fade from

his eyes.

I want to I want to watch the light

fade. I want I want the light to be

there and then no longer be there.

>> Uh, don't come here.

>> Ooh, that's a Gucci pipe.

WE GO BACK TO GO BACK TO THE GUCCI PIPE.

>> I'M NOT LISTENING.

>> [ __ ] YOU

>> I'M not even joking. I'm not even

joking. There was a Gucci pipe back

there. I'm not even joking. I'm not even

joking.

>> [laughter]

>> There was a Gucci pipe. There was a

Gucci pipe. There was a Gucci pipe.

>> [gasps]

>> No, Gucci pipe. Gucci pipe. No, no, no.

Go in the room. Go in the room. Yeah,

yeah, yeah. Wait, I'm a little bit

delayed. So, I can see you right there.

Right there. THE WHITE PIPE. THE WHITE

PIPE GOING UP TO the ceiling. Gucci

pipe. Gucci pipe. Gucci pipe.

GUCCI PIPE. NO, YOU'RE IN THE ROOM.

COCONUT DAMN IT. GO BACK. GO BACK. GO

BACK.

YOU WERE IN THE ROOM.

COCONUT GUCCI PIPE. RIGHT THERE. RIGHT

THERE.

>> [screaming]

>> RIGHT THERE. AT THE BASE OF THE STAIRS.

AT THE BASE AT THE BOTTOM OF THE STAIRS.

TOUCHING THE BOTTOM OF THE STAIRS.

TOUCHING THE bottom of the stairs. From

the floor to the ceiling. From the floor

to the ceiling at the bottom of the

stairs. THE ONLY GIANT WHITE PIPE ON

YOUR SCREEN. GUCCI PIPE. GUCCI PIPE.

GUCCI PIPE. Gucci pipe. Gucci pipe.

>> Are you [ __ ] slow?

You eat pencils or something?

>> What do you

>> Were you Were you one of those [ __ ]

kids that [ __ ]

stuck your finger in the pencil

sharpener or something? [laughter]

>> Let's go back.

>> You were one of those [ __ ] kids that

[ __ ] stuck your

>> right now. It's a HelloFresh. Code

Coconut B H F C W. That's what I can use

right now. I can use some HelloFresh.

Code Coconut B H F C W. That's what I

need right now.

That's what

>> You know what there is in the HelloFresh

chat? Peanuts. You can eat them. They

got some peanuts in some of the meals.

No [ __ ] Also, I support speed.

Like GG, where'd you go?

>> Okay, come here, Coco. Come outside.

>> Okay.

>> Come upstairs.

>> Gucci pipe, Gucci pipe.

Come upstairs.

>> I'm going to We're going to do

something, okay?

>> Uh-huh. You hear that, peanut brain?

We're going to do something.

And you're not here cuz you're dead, cuz

she killed you.

You no longer exist.

>> Cuz I can't Well, I'm not going to be

able to do this part and get both of us

out, so

>> oh, [ __ ] Okay, I got to walk in.

>> So, we're going to have to do something

different.

>> I'm praying on your downfall, Coconut.

I've never prayed on anyone's downfall

more [laughter] than yours right now.

>> Coco, where are you?

>> I lost.

>> you die the most vicious, violent,

horrific, fiery death

than anyone has ever died.

I hope you explode.

I hope you You don't mean that. explode.

>> You don't mean that.

>> Oh, I mean that. Oh, I mean that.

I mean that. I mean that.

>> You love me.

Admit it.

>> Okay,

um

>> You're in love with me.

>> [ __ ] yourself. Die.

[ __ ] yourself. Die.

>> Now, this is going to be kind of a

difficult part, okay?

>> Okay.

>> This is going to be kind of a difficult

part, okay?

>> seen anyone take this route. What's

going on over here?

>> be something different that you've never

seen before.

>> Uh-huh. All right, that's what my uncle

told me. It wasn't that good.

Your uncle is a rich lover.

Holy [ __ ]

What the [ __ ]

Holy [ __ ] WHAT?

WHAT THE [ __ ] WHAT?

>> Just Can you please

>> Chester, Chester, Chester.

>> And you're going to have to look up.

>> Chester, Chester, CHESTER, CHESTER.

>> HOLY [ __ ] SHE'S A [ __ ] SPIDER-MAN.

>> NO, NO.

>> YO, I'm going to meet up with the

Discord server and watch this in full

HD. I'll be right back.

>> Okay. I can watch this in full HD.

>> Okay, okay. right back. Please, please.

>> And it's like a you have to look up and

vault up.

>> have coconut balls at the very top.

Please, please.

Please, please, please.

Please, please, please.

>> Almost because I don't have

them.

>> Why didn't we do this from the start?

>> Did you Oh, you vaulted up nice.

>> Yep, I was waiting for you to get up and

>> Okay.

>> [laughter]

>> How old is it to play A YOUTUBE VIDEO?

HOW OLD IS IT TO PLAY A

>> HE'S GOING TO HAVE TO KEEP STANDING IT.

>> SPIDER-MAN, SPIDER-MAN, does whatever a

spider

>> of your

But your

your vault is on your

>> With great power comes great

responsibility.

Well, maybe I got to stand like this

way. Oh, oh my god.

>> god, have him do that at the top. Have

him do that Have him do that at the top.

>> I ought to do this. I got to stand here.

>> Have him do THAT AT THE TOP. [screaming]

>> JESUS.

>> Have him do that at the top.

Please. [laughter]

>> I got it's the same way I got up this

one, right, Jingi?

>> Yeah.

>> Oh.

>> Take your helmet off.

>> Oh my god.

Hey.

>> Why don't fall down?

>> Have him do it at the top.

>> I don't want [screaming] to fall down.

Oh my god, okay.

>> Have him do that AT THE TOP.

>> PLEASE.

>> [laughter]

>> PLEASE.

PLEASE. PLEASE.

PLEASE.

>> Do you know how much time do I have

before we die?

>> for five Christmases.

>> 24.

>> Okay.

>> If he falls off of the top.

>> Just keep looking up.

>> Go. Go. GO IN THE CORNER.

>> OKAY, you just keep looking up.

>> GO. GO. GO IN THE CORNER.

YES. YES.

YES.

YES. YES.

HOLD ON. I got to regen stamina real

quick. Hold on.

>> Yep. Don't just do not look down. Don't

look down.

>> I won't look down. Yep. I won't look

down.

>> And keep pressing forward.

>> Keep pressing forward. Okay. Okay.

>> Press S to regenerate stamina faster.

Press S to regenerate stamina faster.

>> No. No. No. Don't Don't Don't listen to

him.

>> Okay.

>> Nice. Okay. Okay.

>> Okay.

>> On this side.

>> Do I fall Do I look down?

>> My wife likes to get mad at me for

watching you play video games.

>> left. I mean the Yeah, the left. Just

stay on.

>> [ __ ] [ __ ]

NO. YES. YES. YES. YES. YES. YES. YES.

YES. YES. YES. YES. YES. YES.

>> I JUST BROKE MY LEGS.

>> DID YOU JUST FALL DOWN?

>> [screaming]

>> OH MY GOD. YES.

>> CAN YOU CRAWL?

>> I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING.

I LIKE FLIPPED THROUGH THE FLOOR.

Let's

>> [screaming]

>> go.

>> Okay, you know what?

>> I might have I guess I looked down.

I'll get back up.

>> Stay there and I'm going to go clean the

stuff real quick and come back and get

you.

>> Oh my god.

Look down.

Are you Are you not allowed to look

down? Will you fall?

>> [ __ ] did I

What happened?

Wait, no, no, no. Please don't say I

just

Oh my gosh, are we Are we kidding? Did I

go up one square?

>> Very fascinating.

Very fascinating.

Ah,

that reminds me. I have a tip, a piece

of advice to give Coconut. When you get

to the top, completely unrelated.

Completely unrelated. No need to worry

about

>> Oh, no.

>> No need to worry. Completely unrelated.

You can do it.

When you won't even think about it and

just do it.

>> I don't remember if it's if I we go up

two or three.

>> You want to go straight all the way

through those doors and then take a

left. And then you want to go all the

way down the hallway and take a left.

And then you want to go all the way down

the hallway and take a left.

>> Take a left? [ __ ] second.

Wait a [ __ ] second.

Okay, I'm not going to say anything this

guy [ __ ] says.

What the [ __ ]

>> [laughter]

>> Good work, boys. Good work.

>> Oh, there we go.

>> Good [laughter] work, boys. Dude, am I

like in a perpetual [ __ ] whooper?

>> [ __ ] [ __ ]

WHO THE [ __ ] [ __ ] THOSE BEDS? WHO THE

[ __ ] [ __ ] THOSE BEDS?

WHO THE [ __ ] [ __ ] THOSE BEDS?

FIGHT HIM. FIGHT HIM.

BURN THAT [ __ ] [screaming]

right now.

Dude, where am I?

>> You want to go down that hallway and

take a left.

>> WHERE AM I?

HOLY GOD, DUDE. OH MY GOD.

>> THAT hallway and TAKE A

>> SHUT UP. SHUT UP. GET OUT OF MY HEAD.

Get out.

Wait.

>> [laughter]

>> Dude, oh dude dude dude dude, there's

like NO WAY.

OH!

I'M BACK, JINJI.

JINJI?

>> I'm all the way above you.

>> Oh, [ __ ] Do I have to come up?

>> No, no, no. Just stay down there. I'm

going to try to find a way to get you

here.

>> Do you want me to toss me down a ladder

or some [ __ ]

>> No, I can't.

>> How am I going to get up, then?

I'll get up, Jinji. I got this.

I got this.

As Forest Gump said,

I got this.

As Forest Gump said,

>> He

He's running out of time.

>> Jinji, do you want me to climb on the

pipe? I I WENT AROUND.

>> COCONUT CLIMB THE SHIP.

OH MY GOD.

>> WAIT. WAIT. 40

>> CLIMB THE SHIP. OH MY GOD.

>> I'M NOT CLIMBING [ __ ] I'm not climbing

[ __ ]

[ __ ] [ __ ] dude.

We got out. W's in the chat.

W's in the chat.

>> I'm actually now I'm actually kind of

nervous.

>> Hey, why are you nervous?

Did we Did we just get like plot

armored?

>> like we didn't have to extract.

>> We made it. Did we just get like

>> We survived. Hey, [ __ ] you, Peanut.

>> What? I

>> [laughter]

>> survived.

>> You survived?

>> Yep.

>> Hey, [ __ ] you, PEANUT.

>> WHAT?

>> [laughter]

>> WHAT?

>> YEP. We survived.

I have all your stuff, Peanut.

>> What do you mean you survived?

>> for your game. Your gun I I have to make

you a new gun.

We survived.

>> Oh my god, there's no way.

There was a server shutdown due to an

update in the middle of that raid, and

that's why you just [ __ ] survived

that.

>> Yep, we're cool and you're not, buddy.

>> [laughter]

>> Hey, GG. Let's go.

We made it.

>> Let's freaking go.

>> Let's go, GG.

Oh, I'm actually leaning back in my

chair.

>> I actually [ __ ] both of you. Oh my god.

>> I'm going to do a barbecue tomorrow. I'm

going to cook the whole damn day. Who

wants to come for the cookout?

>> Yeah, not not for your cookouts, buddy.

Not for your cookouts. We don't eat THE

SAME THING.

>> [laughter]

>> I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT YOU WHAT kind of

dumb LUCK IS THAT? WHAT KIND OF DUMB

[screaming] LUCK IS THAT? OH MY GOD.

>> ARMOR, BUDDY. It's cuz we're cool.

>> I'm good now. I'm good now.

I'm good now.

It's It's I'm done. It's I'm done.

>> Do you want to at least come to my

Korean barbecue night?

>> No, I don't want to COME TO YOUR KOREAN

BARBECUE [screaming] NIGHT.

>> BUT I

BUT I WANTED TO COOK FOR YOU, BOSS.

I just wanted to cook for you.

>> saw you spend half an hour

climbing up a virtual boat wall.

>> Yeah, you saw me Spider-Man up the

[ __ ] wall like Peter [ __ ] Parker,

buddy. All right? I was

>> I could literally

I could literally throw a dead pregnant

cat at a keyboard and it would be a

better teammate than you. I could

literally put a dead pregnant cat in a

catapult and launch him at a keyboard

AND IT WOULD DO BETTER THAN YOU IN THIS

GAME.

MY GAME WON'T EVEN start right now.

Update broke the game.

Not working for me.

>> my game and reset my whole entire task

line for ice breaker.

>> That's what you get.

What's going on?

>> Gigi, did you keep all your [ __ ] too?

>> Yes, you guys both did.

>> Oh my god. Oh my god, Gigi. Oh my god.

>> Let me get this straight. Let me get

this straight.

>> Dude, literally all the streamers do

that thing.

>> We go to We go to shoreline to try to go

to

the ice breaker. Gigi forgets her money.

Okay, we can leave. We go to shoreline

again to go to ice breaker and Coconut

gets mauled.

After an hour and a half

we finally all get to the ice breaker.

Five minutes there

GIGI

BARELY [screaming] MURDERS ME.

AND THEN YOU GUYS SPEND HALF AN HOUR

climbing up a boat wall.

The server shuts down. You guys win by

default and my game is broken in half.

What a fantastic time. Who do I make the

check OUT TO? WHO DO I MAKE THE CHECK

OUT TO? WHAT DO I PUT ON THE SEND TO

LINE?

CUZ SOMEONE DESERVES AN AWARD FOR WHAT

HAS happened tonight.

I can't start the game. It just keeps

giving me this error over and over

again. I've tried it a lot a bunch of

times right now.

Yeah, it just keeps saying it. Wait, let

me let me check the Twitter. Let me

check the Twitter.

We see it We see it.

Hey guys, what Twitter do you go to for

updates on this? Is it Nikita or is it

Sergey?

>> Battlestate Games.

>> Battlestate Games? Let me see.

Battlestate Games says

nothing.

You have T Twitter. Oh wait, wait, wait,

wait, wait, let me check the Escape from

Tarkov Twitter. One second.

We've just announced a technical update

for Escape from Tarkov. Please download

the update via the launcher. The the

game will not be stopped, but on updated

servers, raid time may be reduced to 10

minutes.

During the installation of the update,

raid search times may be longer than

usual. The trade at the icebreaker

location has been moved closer to the

beginning of the pier by blue fence to

reduce the number of cases of transit

camping. Oh, damn. Oh, nice.

Several geometry changes were made to

the icebreaker location.

>> Oh my god.

>> [laughter]

>> Mhm. Wait, did they just update it? They

just patched what you guys just did.

They just patched it.

>> stream.

>> [clears throat]

>> They just patched it. They just patched

it right now.

>> Just bear Just hear me out. Every single

streamer's been doing that since day

one.

And then they finally fix it when you're

streaming and they watch someone do it.

That's crazy.

It took your stream for them to fix

that.

>> I don't think that's I think it was just

coincidence.

>> I would like I would like a

BATTLE STATE

>> THAT'S [ __ ]

>> I WOULD LIKE SOME MONEY

>> HOW IS THAT GOING TO SAY I GOT [ __ ]

WE AIN'T GOT NO [ __ ]

HELL YEAH. HELL

YEAH.

Uh

We should go go.

>> I was going to say I think we all

deserve some money from uh the Escape

from Tarkov devs for patching it.

Like like $10. Feel me?

>> new here, buddy.

I know you're new here, buddy.

>> [laughter]

>> I know you're new here, pal. Okay?

>> Uh uh huh.

>> That ain't ever going to happen.

>> [laughter]

>> Why not?

>> [gasps]

>> Buddy, I don't even have streamer mode

on this game yet.

>> Wait, what the [ __ ] There's no streamer

mode on Tarkov?

>> There's streamer mode, and only like

five guys got it.

>> Wait, what?

>> Yeah.

>> Streamer mode? What?

>> You got streamer mode, G?

>> Yeah.

>> I ain't got it.

>> Apple for it.

>> Who?

>> Apple.

>> That guy's dead.

>> Dude. What?

>> Guy who ran Apple?

>> Huh?

>> Who? What are you say- WHAT ARE YOU

SAYING?

>> THE DEV NAMED APPLE.

>> That's stupid name. Is that Russian?

>> literally who you talked to Peanut. When

you got that, that was who I told you to

talk to.

>> I don't know anybody named Apple.

I was hoping I could maybe reach out to

Banana or Orange.

Those guys I heard are very reasonable.

Honestly, let me see if I can DM

Cucumber real quick. See if he can give

me the streamer mode.

Shove them up your ass, yeah. See if he

can fit my ass.

>> [laughter]

>> Is Apple his real name? Is that Russian?

Is that something in Russia?

>> No, it's just his

>> It might be some Russian [ __ ] yeah.

>> That's why it's some Russian [ __ ]

That's why it's some Russian [ __ ]

>> Apple's It's like code words.

>> Yeah, code words.

>> Probably like KGB type [ __ ] They just

probably call each other fruits.

>> Coming from a peanut you are peanut.

Peanut is 10 times cooler than

a name like Apple.

>> True. True it is.

>> AND YOU HEY, YOU'RE COCONUT, [ __ ]

>> WHAT?

Excuse me? Yeah.

>> I said it. I said it. Go to hell. Go to

hell.

>> Uh coconuts are way cooler than peanuts.

>> Coconuts you can't even find unless

you're on a deserted island. Peanuts you

can go to any store in the United States

and find some of those, buddy.

>> Yeah, guess what? If you're on a

deserted island, you're going to want to

drink coconuts because they're high in

potassium, calcium, and high in

hydration, and give you tons of

calories.

>> You know what else is high in potassium?

What about a peanut All right, pal?

>> Uh well,

>> [ __ ] yourself.

>> Coconuts are [ __ ] awesome. And guess

what? Have you ever had coconut water?

It's very hydrating.

>> I've actually had coconut water. It's

not that good.

>> All right.

>> It's not that good.

>> kidding me here?

>> I'm a coconut racist.

>> You're a coconut racist?

>> That's right. That's right. That's

right.

>> I like almonds more.

>> What?

>> Yeah, I like almonds more. Almonds go

way better that with with alcohol than

>> me let me see what let me see what the

comments here are. Let me see let me

read the comments on this. For [ __ ]

sake. So, wait all right. Here we here

we go. Sorry. For [ __ ] [ __ ] sake, I

was in the mid in the [ __ ] beginning

of [ __ ] icebreaker run after being

[ __ ] camped in the [ __ ] transit at

the

something boat and the raid time it goes

to 9:59 right after killing the

[ __ ] rogues for [ __ ]

sake.

That is Pablo Espinoza.

Wow.

>> Oh, [ __ ]

>> a way with words.

He has a way with words.

That's incredible.

You guys tried to fix Spider-Man but

broke the game instead.

That's

actually so

so correct. That's actually what I That

guy's actually on the nail. That guy hit

the nail on the head.

Uh uh

The bird peanut, this is your fault.

What the

the [ __ ] is that? WHO WROTE THAT?

SOMEONE BAN THAT MAN.

BAN THAT [ __ ] RIGHT NOW.

HUH.

I DID NOTHING.

I DIDN'T DO NOTHING.

HUH.

MM. Since I can't show my screen while

I'm scrolling Twitter, but

as a as a wise man once said, you're one

one scroll away from seeing the end word

at any moment, so

kind of got to keep it uh

got to keep it under the wraps. Got to

keep it out of the

Ain't no way they're doing this for

Peanut only, GOD DAMN IT. GUYS, THEY'RE

NOT DOING IT FOR ME. I

I WASN'T EVEN DOING IT. IT WAS THESE TWO

[ __ ] ASHES.

PEANUT, if you're reading this, you're

awesome. Oh, dude.

Hold on, wait a second.

Hold up, wait a minute.

Hold up. Wait a minute. Hold up.

Wait a second.

Hold on. Wait a second. Hold on. Wait a

minute. Wait a second. Hold on. Wait a

minute. Wait a second. Hold on. Okay,

now they're just they're just all

They're just all beef.

>> [laughter]

>> This is Peanut's fault for game

breaking. Peanut def, all your fault.

Peanut loves peanuts. Hi, Peanut. Hi.

>> He he does. That's true.

>> Hi, Mr. Fish.

All right.

Okay, all right.

The last few ones are just all hi,

Peanut.

>> [music]

[music]