NGAPAIN AKU NIKAH #felixsiauw #trending

- Okay, I'll go next. - Luna Maya. - Luna Maya. - She just got married. - Luna Maya just got married. If Luna Maya's husband only appreciates beauty, not anything other than beauty, like something she's looking for. I divide the three intentions. There's for pleasure, which is pleasure. Sorry, for example, beauty, sexiness, and all that are pleasures. The second is passion. Passion is because she wants to marry this person because this person is nice and all that. The third is purpose.

- Purpose. - Purpose is worship. If he's just a pleasure, I'm sure that after marriage, after 3-4 months, his hair will be greener. I don't know what your name is, but your name is Song Hye Kyo. - I think she's the most beautiful. - Who is she? - She's a Korean artist. - She married Song Jong Ki. This is so beautiful. After marriage, 3 months later, or a few months later, it's green. This proves why she doesn't get peace because there's no purpose. Because peace comes from purpose.

It's not. Let's talk about it again. Pleasure is related to whether it's good or not. While passion is related to whether it's good or not. While purpose is related to whether it's right or not. And right results in peace. Good results in pleasure. Good results in benefit. But it's so hard to...

Marry. Marry for a purpose? It means you have to agree. That's right. That's right. That's why I'm... This is unpopular, my statement that is often fried by people. I say this, it's better not to marry than to get married wrong. It's better not to marry than to get married wrong.

It's better to not get married than to get married wrong. That's what I mean. Because we know that marriage is a sin. But the problem is that we live in an era that is not default. We are now in an era that is like what? To be good, you need to have efforts. In the era of the apostles, to be good, you don't need to have efforts.

To be evil, you need to be forced. Now, on the contrary, to be evil, we don't need to be forced. So, to choose a good girl or a good guy, it's really a forced decision. We have to make a list, we have to go through the process, even that can still be wrong. So it's true. To reach the level of purpose, there must be a checklist. -Let's talk about the checklist. -Okay. In order to make sure that she is the right person,

Because this marriage is for purpose. With the understanding that if it's not for purpose, you'll always be upset. If it's for pleasure, you'll always be upset. There's another one that's more beautiful. Because we all see a lot of examples. We see people like, "This person is crazy." Sometimes I think, "This person is so beautiful." Why is she still being cheated on?

Elizabeth Hurley, but this is my line-up. Hugh Grant and Elizabeth Hurley. Hugh Grant is not very handsome, but he's charming and cute. Elizabeth Hurley is very pretty. Cool too. Then there was Eva Longoria and Tony Parker. Cool too. Then there was Brian McKnight. Romantic, the song. Cool too. This, if asked why, because I think, why is it cool? It's not that it's not very pretty. It's because...

Not calm. Not calm. Not because of purpose. This is because... Not because of pleasure or passion. But because of purpose. So we must, for this peace, for this calmness, must choose the one who is agreed that this marriage is for Allah. Ideally, the procession is a relationship, Ustaz. But in Islam there is no relationship. There is Ta'aruf.

Taruf is also a relationship, right? Now, yes. Now, it is a Sharia taruf. Sorry, a Sharia relationship. It's called a Sharia relationship. But actually, the difference between a relationship and a taruf is only one. In a relationship, it doesn't involve sex. That's it. Yes, physical contact, for example. So, if someone says, "I'm dating a woman now." "Let's date." Then the girl says, "It's a Sharia relationship, okay." That means she's going through that process. She's going through...

The process is without a promise. That's right. There's no problem with that. You can call it a relationship, you can call it a marriage, the important thing is there's no promise. Marriage is a relationship without a promise. Yes, that's right. So even if we don't get married, the guy won't be a problem, the girl won't be a problem. But if it's a relationship, if it doesn't work, the one who loses is definitely the girl.

Why? Because girls are irreversible. Yes, yes, yes. We understand that a girlfriend is because she has a man. Yes, right. Unless if the girlfriend doesn't have a man, it means she's not a girlfriend, she's a prostitute. There's someone who says, "Sir, if I'm a girlfriend, I don't hold hands." I said, "How long have you been in a relationship?" "Three years." "Three years you don't hold hands?" "You're a man, aren't you?" It's impossible for a man to not hold hands.

Okay. Tarif is...

What are the rules? Taruf is mostly about introduction. Because we want to find a wife or husband, we really need to find out what we need from them. So whatever we list, for example we want a husband who is this or that, we look for it when we have taruf. If I divide it into three, first there is something called unnegotiable.

That is the principle, that is the purpose. For example, whether you are Muslim or not. Then what kind of Muslim is he? What is his future vision? Then what is his view on the principles of life in Islam? This is the first. The second is the passion. Passion, okay, I'm married, I want to do da'wah. Are you ready to be left behind? I want 11 children, for example. How many children do you want? This is passion.

I still want to work for women after marriage. I don't want to be polygamous. That's my passion. After marriage, do you turn on or off the lights? That's my passion. After that, the last checklist is the leisure part.

For example, you try to test Pabsmir, for example, if there is a problem with his body or if he has physical problems, for example, if he has any kind of mental illness, etc. This is the third part. What's interesting is that the third part of the Apostle's Word is what we are looking for.

- What do you mean? - The Prophet said, "A woman should choose her religion, her inheritance, and her wealth." "The fourth is because of her face." But the first thing to choose is her face. Because if we don't like our faces, how can we get to the level of passion and purpose? It's impossible. But in our opinion, we are happy. That's the checklist.

It's impossible to be a long term relationship. Well, it can be long, but it's preferable to be short. Yes, because even though there are always new things that we learn from someone,

But the checklist can be known in less than a year, right? Yes, there are people who can do it in 3 months. And until now, Alhamdulillah, my wife and I have been doing it for about a year. Because from the beginning, when the guy came, he was ready. So if I say, how do we know that we are ready to get married? We are ready to get married and ready to get married when the girl says, "Okay, marry me today too." He says, "Okay."

If, if, if for example you want to, that means you're ready. But if you get married and you're like, "Wait a minute, I have to collect the money first." That means you're not ready to put it in. You're not serious. Okay, but collecting money is usually related to cultural things. Right. Not religion. Because in Islam, we're getting closer. In Islam, it's technical.

Sorry for the question, but what is the marriage technique? - What is the marriage technique? - Yes, I mean... That's why we get married in the KUA, and then there's the hijab and all that. - But in terms of culture, there's... - All kinds of things. Yes, you have to get married in front of the country, and then there's the...

The festival is called reception and all kinds of things. But that's all gone, right? Yes, money and all kinds of things. Yes, there is no tradition. In Islam, what is there? What is there is only Ijab Qabul, there is his father, there is a person who wants to get married, it's done. It's done? It's done.

That easy. So for example, if one day you will get married, you will choose one person. And then you say, "You want to marry my child? Okay. You want to marry him? Okay. We've talked about it. Okay, I'll test you first." You do a fit and proper test. You ask him where he goes. See if he's cute or not. Or if he can take care of his child or not. As someone who takes care of children, you make sure that he can take care of me at least.

- Minimal, yes. - That's what every father wants. I've never hit him. What do you think? I've never hit a woman in my life. Okay, I always feed him this. Can't you feed him like this? I'm like this when I raise him. What do you offer? After everything is done, just say his name. Then you say, "I'll marry my son, Yindi Bin."

This bride with this groom, he said, "I accept the marriage." Done. - The groom is in Islam? - Yes, he is in Islam. But what about the bride? The groom is something that is mandatory in marriage. But the value is not determined. Some say that the younger the groom, the better for the man. - Except the protection of the man is not like that? - Not like that. Why should there be a groom? Some say it is a guarantee.

So for example, if it turns out that what is promised is not in accordance with what is given, then the guarantee is in marriage. At least there is something given to that woman to be her grip. So it means that it cannot be limited. When the woman asks, "I want this." Or the family asks, "I want this." Well, it means that it is the obligation to be fulfilled after being negotiated. So that's just a guarantee. Okay. So that means,

At the very beginning of our conversation, I once said that I was learning to observe how Muslim people in general, Muslims who really want to follow the command of Allah and follow His commands, are part of a country. Or become a part of a country. This means that there are many Muslims who after taruf, and don't want to taruf for a long time because it's related to the obligation,

Decide to get married first, religiously. The important thing is that we are married, we are away from the burden of marriage. We hope to be married for 4-5 years, it seems difficult. What to do? The country is behind us. In Indonesia, there are many cases like that. There are. But if you say many, I don't know the data. But there are. There are cases like that? Yes, I also asked my father for that. Oh really? Yes, I said, "Instead of marriage, let me get married." But my father didn't want to.

- Because it's cultural. - Because it's cultural. They said, "Well, this is sacred, right? It must be announced and all that." But in Islam, it's that simple, actually. Yes, because the biggest obstacle for people to get married is the money needed for the reception, the traditions, and all that. Meanwhile, we are chasing among those who don't want to be forced.

The tariff is already completed, we have all the data, and the cost is not too high. That's right. That's our culture, making it difficult for us to be obedient and make it easier for us to be healthy.

So for example, when someone says, "Hey, this is my friend, we're already dating, we're dating this and that." No problem, right? Then, yeah, the name of the relationship, right? As a man, I can say that every normal man will understand it for sure. For sure, in my opinion. For example, I was born in a very strange world. I don't understand why people can get pregnant at that time.

But I'm a fast learner. I understand. And I understand that I'm scared of myself. Because I once said, when I was dating, I said, "If I want, I can make that girl do anything for me."

And I'm sure about that. Even though I'm not handsome. But men have that "spell". That "speak" of God. And I'm scared about that. Because it's so easy. When it happens, the parents are in trouble. Even though they're the ones who make it easy for their parents. People who live in one house are just normal. Especially in America, it's so normal. This is the difficulty for us. Even though Islam makes it easy for people to behave. In the US, if they're Muslim, it's all over.

Because they don't need anything. They don't need money or anything. They have to think about the minimum. Turkish people nowadays, when they get married in a cafe, they only invite 18-20 people. But in Islam, even, it's not necessary. "It's done, you can get married." I told my father, "Pi, I know how much the wedding fee is." Because my father... I'm sure that the children get married, it's not their marriage. It's actually the parents' marriage. Because the one who invites the most is the parents.

Right? It happens a lot. When I got married, I said, I just need to invite a maximum of 50 people. I said that. 25 people is also possible. But thousands of others. That's my father's friend. He said, but you're embarrassed. If later, if you get married, then people say, why don't you invite? You're poor. What or how? In this, I said, just relax, Pi. 6 people.

If people's words can't be finished, then just give me the money so I can finish this. I can go anywhere. It should be like that if we want to think about the future. But it doesn't work.

Did Islam have a guide in choosing a partner? Yes. The first one is to find a beautiful wife. Oh, that one. There was a person who came to the Prophet and said, Ya Rasul, I want to marry this woman. The Prophet said, Have you seen her? No, Ya Rasulullah. See her until you fall in love with her. Oh, is that so? Don't just see her until your heart falls in love with her. Because the taste is different, Mas. Yes.

But all our wives, we all have certain fears. When we meet, we have anxiety and all sorts of things. There is something we like about her. Either her eyes, or her face, and all sorts of things. But if we already have that, then it will increase again. Try to see what her family is like. After that, see what her wealth is like. After that, it's her religion. And break her religion, said Ros.

That's the last thing, to see the religion. What's difficult in Indonesia, maybe culturally as well, there are many processes where, they are both Muslims, but maybe the cultural ties are stronger, so they are, in short, matched. You can only see their faces when

This is my candidate. And I think that's not good. Because the Holy Spirit said, "See until you are tempted." If you are not tempted, don't. See until you are tempted. That's right. That means I don't agree with this. We should get married first, then we can build love there. Because the wedding dress is a walk in the soul. That's right.

wedding dress, you're going to a culino. That's why it's culino first. Then the love will appear. But don't just then, well, it's already married. Whatever happens, they also love each other. The parents in the past were also okay. Well, that's the problem. People in the past gave birth to people like now. Hahaha.

- Don't let it happen again. - That's why we're disappointed. That's why it's not... Except if the kid says, when the kid says, "I'll just follow my mom." That means his mom has really raised him up to that point. If that's okay, no problem. But if the kid doesn't want to, that means it's a problem if they're paired.

This is connected to Taruf. Especially the statement

"Look at him, his face is so tender" That's because not everyone loves at first sight, right? Sometimes the tenderness comes with time, and the time is probably at the same time as the taruf process

So that's it. So the face, the descent, the wealth, and also the religion. That's the pattern. But in the back, I see that the part that includes religion is emotional.

What does that mean? What is his emotional maturity? So we see if he is angry or not. Or how he talks, how he acts with others. That's why ta'ruf is actually a big problem if there are no third person. That's why in Islam, the habit of the companions is to use the third person. Even though it doesn't always end well. What is the role of the third person? The third person is a "saver". A saver. For example, I have a disciple who has been with me for two years.

For these past 2 years, I've seen how she works. I've seen her flaws. I've seen how good she is. I've seen how she faces a problem. I've seen how she learns and so on. When she wanted to get married, she brought me along. I told her, "This kid has been with me for 2 years." And I knew that she would never be rude to her mother. So if she believed me, I believed her.

That's what happened in the time of the Sahabas. So when there was a Sahabah named Abu Dada, he was being asked to marry a Sahabah named Salman Al-Farisi. If I'm not mistaken, if I'm not mistaken, it's corrected. Salman asked, "Hey Abu Dada, I'm in love with a girl."

"Oh, yes, how? This is their family, they know you, right? Do you want to take me there?" "To get me married to a woman, so you can guarantee me, you mean you're talking nicely about me, like an edification." So, he was taken to Abu Dada. Until there, "Oh, wait a minute, we discussed it with the boy." Then what did the boy say? "I want to go with Abu Dada."

- It's confusing. - He was prepared for the interview, and he was given a kiss and married to his friend. So, don't bring someone who is more famous than you. I mean, it's a condition. If we look at all of that, it's important for the third person because he knows what this woman doesn't know. There's a story. Maybe the one who's watching this is the one who experienced this story.

But I once heard a story about someone who got married, and her father was very nice. Very nice. When her father was very nice, he did a fit and proper test, about the man who wanted to marry his daughter. Because he loved her daughter. He invited her to Umroh. He did all the SOP that he had to do as a father. He asked the child, he invited her to talk, he spent time with this child. And not with his daughter, just the two of them. Fit and proper test for the parents. The last day, they got married.

A few months later, he came to me and said that I have a problem with my son. After I asked him to talk, he said, "This is Isis." - Wow. - I immediately left him. - Wow. That's not visible. - It's not. Why? Because maybe he only knows a few things that he knows. But things like this need other eyes. For example, as a comedian, you must be able to

identify which part of the person is the most important. For example, if the viewer says, "I like this part." "Oh, you know what the radar is like." Same as me, I can identify people like this. Maybe not everyone can identify. But at least we can see that this is the importance of fit and proper test with the third person. The one who knows more about this as the guarantor. That's what makes the situation safer.

Now, after you got married, we've talked about it before, you're a couple now. In Islam, are there roles that have to be played by men and women? I ask this because

Now, in the year of 2026, traditional roles are no longer relevant and can no longer be applied because of the situation. For example, there are many now whose backbones are women. There are men who can accept it, there are men who cannot. But it's true.

That's the kind of fortune I have. I know it because I have another senior work left trampoline. Some of the emails I received, the problem is, not the problem, the situation is, this is my wife's salary. Is it a religious matter? Yes, that's great. I smiled earlier because it's exactly like what the Qur'an formulated. My question before I explain this. In your opinion, who has the most income in the household of the Prophet ?

I was just thinking about the Prophet, he was a merchant, right? Prophet? Prophet? No, he worked with Bunda Khadijah. He worked? With Bunda Khadijah, his wife. Oh really? Yes. So the Prophet used to work with Bunda Khadijah, or trade with Bunda Khadijah's goods. Bunda Khadijah was a rich rich man. His wealth was extraordinary, throughout the city of Mecca.

The goodness is very well known. Her name is Mrs. Khadijah, but her nickname is Tauhirah. It means the one who is holy. Because she is a woman who seems to be ahead of her time. So people who don't do it, she does it all. She has never disrespected her employees. She has never belittled people who are poorer than her. And no one hates Khadijah. So it's impossible to hate Khadijah in Mecca. And she has one employee, it's easy, Nabi Muhammad.

And he saw that this person was very fine, his work was good, his trade was neat, his speech was different from other people. Because of that, Bunda Khadijah asked for the Prophet Muhammad to be his husband. Oh, that's right up to that point, sorry I don't know at all. So Bunda Khadijah is not married or has she ever been married? She's married. Oh, she's married. That's why she's married.

Good question. I know it already. It means that it will be corrected later if I'm not mistaken. But after they got married, the one who pleaded with the Prophet Muhammad was the Buna Khadijah. And that was the words of the Prophet Muhammad himself. The Prophet Muhammad said this, when at one time Buna Aisyah was jealous of Buna Khadijah. So when the Prophet Muhammad was left with Buna Khadijah, he was hit very hard. And really,

He was so upset. Let's try to see his picture. This is how much he was hurt. And he remembered what he said to his mother. "Do you know about a big event in Islam called Futu Meccah?" The Prophet returned to Meccah, came back, and really

It was amazing. People were so happy. Rasulullah, when he was in that condition, he chose to go to Mecca because he had buried Bunda Khadijah in Mecca. And he hadn't been there for a long time because he couldn't go to Mecca. When people were celebrating, he was at Bunda Khadijah's grave to stay there for two days and two nights. It was like saying, "What we're talking about now is done."

I thought like this. The grave is still there? Yes, it's still there. It's called Ma'la. I thought like this. As much as the Prophet could not move on from the Lady of Khadijah at that time. Then, in such a condition, together with his wives, the Prophet was often like this when someone knocked on the door. Then he was told who it was. "This is my family, the family of Khadijah." The Prophet left his wife and welcomed the family of the Lady of Khadijah. When he passed by a place, the Prophet said, "I think I remember this place." "I'm eating something."

I feel like I've eaten Nisa Mo Khadijah. Is it worth it if Mrs. Aisyah then feels jealous? Mrs. Aisyah said this, "Why do you always think of people who have been buried with soil?

The Prophet immediately said, "Eh, be careful, don't say bad things about Khadijah." Then he said, "Why does he mean so much to me? Because one, he is the one who gives me faith when others don't give me faith. He is the one who gives me wealth when others hold it against me. And third, from him I get children, not from anyone else." That means, Mrs. Khadijah is the backbone in the search for funds for the Prophet.

That's why my family is like that. - Really? - Yes. My wife's opinion is bigger than mine. But I have to make a living.